My Black Fortress is Now at 90 Hillside

I smell like Indian food. I'd be more specific, but, I don't know what we had cooking in our kitchen today exactly. I decided to try the stuff because it was deep fried. There's not a whole lot I've tried deep fried that has disappointed too much. I think I only managed three or four courtesy bites before I pulled the, "It's a little too spicy for me" card. Although, I wouldn't mind if it were so spicy that I could see through time. In my defense, I honestly don't even like pepper (as I deem it "spicy" as well). Peppers too, but I mean simple ground pepper. That reminds me, I think that my apartment's pepper is in the ward's supply closet, and I said I'd look for it.

Last Monday was what our stake calls "Aloha Night." Being one of the co-chairs for the activities committee, it was my job to plan the thing. Not really being the sort that feels great about asking for help outside of the committee (which was very slim in numbers at the time), I ended up basically setting up all the tables and chairs myself. Heidi helped for a little while. My back muscles were sore for a while. Still a little, maybe. But I've got a refridgerator drawer full of leftover baked potatoes. Potatoes are totally Hawaiian, in case you were wondering. So is Bob Marley...as I didn't know what other music to play. The funny thing is, when asking the Bishop if I could play Bob Marley, he didn't know who that was. Seriously. Anyway, that's why I brought my apartment's pepper up to the church in the first place. For Aloha potatoes. I was actually released from that calling last Sunday. Just before Aloha Night actually. But you can't really hand an activity over to someone else based on a technicality like that. And I'm now an FHE coordinater (aka Grandma, I guess). I'm still waiting around to see who is called to be the Grandpa.

I'm also in a new apartment again. Surprise, surprise...not really, huh? This will be the...now hold on a sec...the seventh place I've lived at since college. And the eighth move. I really drag around everything I own. I was going to take some pictures of some of the bizarre things I hold onto...but, I don't care about this blog that much. And neither do YOU, I wouldn't hesitate too much to say. Suffice to actually say, though, I was embarrassed enough on the last move. I got a friend of mine to help out who in so doing commented that one of the boxes started singing to him, and I had to admit that the stuffed singing gorilla he gave me for Valentines a while back was in it. It was kinda awkward, especially since I'm in no way especially attached to that gorilla, or the boy. I just don't throw much out.

Speaking of which, my room is a disaster heap. I don't know how to start putting things away, and it's been a week! I'll figure it out. I'll also have to figure out what clothes of mine I have that I can consider "business casual." My clinical instructor mentioned that phrase the other day, and then actually started to list items of clothes that he thought might fall into this category for girls...but only because I looked confused. Rest assured, I know what he meant...I was just confused as to if I really had much that would qualify. Of course, like any girl I like nice clothes, and I like the business casual look. But unlike most girls, I don't find spending money on clothes too desirable. Most of the time. They just wear out in a few years, right? I'm sure my attitude will change once I have more money. For now, buying music, movies, and books is more emotionally purging. In fact, I just bought Krull and IT on dvd last night, two movies I remember from my childhood, for only $10. Sweet, sweet memories...of killer clowns and black fortresses that move each sunrise. I carry around a lot of nostalgic baggage too. I'd have it no other way.

Rank the Reprobates

So, I was thinking about this activity that I did in one of my classes last semester where we read a story and ranked the characters from 1-5 as to who we personally thought had the worst moral character. It was so interesting to see the differences in everyone's answers. You can really learn a lot about people's values. Good thing we weren't graded by response, because my ranking was practically the opposite of the instructor's. I'd like to hear what anyone reading thinks. Here's the story:

Once upon a time there lived a girl named Abigail who was in love with a boy named Gregory. Gregory had an unfortunate accident and broke his glasses. Abigail, being a true friend, volunteered to take them to be repaired. But the repair shop was across the river, and during a sudden flood the bridge was washed away. Poor Gregory could see nothing without his glasses, so Abigail was desperate to get across the river to the repair shop. While she was standing forlornly on the bank of the river, clutching the broken glasses in her hands, a boy named Sinbad glided by in a rowboat.

She asked Sinbad if he would take her across. He agreed to do it on condition that while she was having the glasses repaired, she would go to a nearby store and steal a transistor radio that he had been wanting. Abigail refused to do such a thing and went to see a friend named Ivan who had a boat.

When Abigail told Ivan her problem, he said he was too busy to help her out and didn't want to be involved. Abigail, worried about Gregory, and feeling that now she had no other choice, returned to Sinbad and told him she would have to agree to his plan.

When Abigail returned the repaired glasses to Gregory, she told him what she had had to do. Gregory was appalled at what she had done and told her he never wanted to see her again.

Abigail, upset, turned to Slug with her tale of woe. Slug was so sorry for Abigail that he promised her he would get even with Gregory. They went to the school playground where he was playing ball and Abigail watched while Slug beat Gregory up and broke his glasses again.

This is how I responded:

1. Gregory- Surprised? I think telling a friend that you never want to see them again (and meaning it) is horrible. Ironically, without his glasses, he got his wish.
2. Abigail- She'll do anything for love and for revenge. Scary.
3. Sinbad- He preys on the weak and desperate to get what he wants.
4. Ivan- Not a great friend if he doesn't want to be involved with her problem.
5. Slug- He might be further up on the list if he hadn't beaten up the first guy on the list.

Though, it doesn't even really say that Gregory really considers Abigail a friend, or if Abigail always wants a ride on Ivan's boat, or how badly Slug gave Gregory a beating, or if Sinbad needs a transistor radio to help some other unfortunate soul. And I can't do this activity at all keeping in mind that these are children. So, I ignored that point. Anyway, my point is, there are a lot of factors that influence how we judge people (all different), and more importantly a lot of things we don't know altogether.

Hope

I'd just like to take a minute and share with everyone that I have a strong testimony of fasting. It really seems to dramatically increase the power of prayer. It also increases our ability to feel and be guided by the Spirit to an astounding degree. Though not one of my most faith-building fasts, I realized that the one I had yesterday was certainly acknowledged by the Lord. I take a minute on the Saturday night before fast Sunday and think who needs a fast, someone I know or me. I decided that I needed one myself, as lately I have that feeling that I suspect creeps in around a person's entry into her seventh year of college. A bit of hopelessness. Regarding mostly everything. I don't like to ever think of myself as being depressed or lacking optimism. I mean, my favorite author and American hero is Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of the most inspiring and optimistic men in history. It boggles my mind that people can honestly feel a way they don't want to feel. Such is reality. Anyway, I fasted for Hope. Unspecific besides, just hope. Today I picked up the new August Ensign that our home teacher had handed me yesterday (I wish I had read the cover then!) and the cover story was, "Single and Steadfast: Lessons in Hope."

Now, of course there are countless people that obviously can benefit from this message, nevertheless, I was overjoyed with thanks for how personal it felt when I read the phrase, "lessons in hope." It was nice to read it and come to grips with the fact that so many people struggle with maintaining hope in one way or another. That is logically obvious, but the real deal is that when you feel that way, you feel alone. One major area of concern for me is the feeling that I am not progressing, and I feel that others around me moving onto careers, marriage, missions, and so on are. I was impressed with a new way to evaluate myself when I read in the article, "Progress is any movement toward peaceful acceptance of whatever the future may hold." I have never heard such a comforting and introspective definition. While suddenly developing a bold and excited view of what is to come (which I thought is what I would need) really seems a bit unrealistic to me at this time, I feel that developing peace inside myself is definitely something I can achieve.

My Interest is Kindled at Least

I was wondering how long it would take until someone would develop a device that actually made reading as convenient and accessible as music has become. I've heard people say that computers had done it, but, how many of us really subscribe to eBooks? Now, the computer is fine and all for a little bit of reading, but the strain on your eyes is so horrible that reading an entire novel is out of the question. With this new Amazon Kindle device, however, such a vision is finally possible. It is pretty expensive, though. So, unless you travel a lot or otherwise have a need for instant and light-weight access to a number of your books...I don't think you ought to shell out the dough. Just yet. As it is, I don't see it as being that marketable.

My second concern besides the comfort of reading the screen was whether or not you could mark passages or write comments about what you read. That's a great reason why I like actual books and magazines versus reading things on the internet. And this is certainly something the makers of the Kindle thought about and made possible. In fact, you are also able to share certain articles, book passages, etc. with other users. Also, being able to search your entire library of books by word or phrase is a wonderful plus. It's like a Topical Guide for all your books!

If only we could magically sync the books we already own into the device. Doesn't quite have that perk like music. Of course, this just means that you must be patient to build up your collection. So, it really is only worth it in the long run. It would be nice if you could get a number of titles free with purchase to compensate. Though, it is likely that the prices on these sorts of devices will be more affordable in a few years. I for one think it would be fabulous to get text books on these things. They would be cheaper, and wouldn't weigh down your backpack. I really hope that this technology becomes more cost effective. Truthfully, I think that computer manufacturers should just make laptop screens like this.

Science or Bad Science Fiction?

I ran into this list of the top 10 most scientifically inaccurate movies on the Yahoo homepage a while ago, and it was both amusing and thought-provoking. Firstly, these were the movies voted for:

1. Armageddon
2. Independence Day
3. Starship Troopers
4. The Day After Tomorrow
5. The Core
6. The Matrix
7. Jurassic Park
8. Total Recall
9. Outbreak
10. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

For a look at the inaccuracies of each, you can read it for yourself here.

The most humorous to me was the Starship Troopers inaccuracy.

"Could a band of cave-dwelling, preverbal giant insects really have the sophisticated mathematics and technology to hurl a rock millions of miles through space to crash into Earth? Plus, 70% of the planet's surface is covered in water, so they only had a 3 out of 10 chance at even hitting solid ground, let alone a major city like Buenos Aires."

Slim odds. Still, I find it easier to believe than Indiana Jones surviving a nuclear blast completely unharmed. I'm so glad that there are others who won't let that one slide. Too ridiculous. Moreso than mind-controlling alien skulls made out of crystal?! Yes! I have absolutely no problem with wacky alien plot lines. I figure, we can't prove that aliens do or do not exist at all, let alone what their skulls are capable of. That leads me to the Independence Day argument, which was very thought provoking. They mentioned that if a ship that is truly 1/4 the size of the moon were to hover above Washington D.C., the city would have been destroyed by giant tidal waves or earthquakes due to the gravitational force on it.

Hmmm...earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, cities being washed away in the sea? Sound familiar? It's in Revelations, people! And the moon becoming as blood? You know how the moon looks red during a Lunar Eclipse? Let's say that we get a giant spacecraft blocking the sun's rays from reaching the moon instead of the Earth. There you have it, your bloody doomsday moon. Although...that really would require a spaceship that is actually the size of the Earth. It could happen! At least it is more likely than that whole non-lethal nuclear blast nonsense. Of course, my opinion is a little biased. I have actually seen an unidentified flying object before. Right outside my bedroom window, in fact. I'm sure the aliens would have used their superior intellect and technology (a.k.a. magic) to erase this photo from my phone (and the fiery image from my brain!) if they didn't think I'd use it to instill fear in my fellowmen. And so, as not to betray their infallible (a.k.a. vindictive) trust, I say, "Be afraid, be very afraid."

8 x 8

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I guess I'm just in that mode of thinking where I want to, sort of say, put down the camera and just watch the sunset. Sometimes I think it's weird when people have to bring their cameras everywhere, to remember whatever cool thing they are about to do. Especially when they have to recreate the event to get the picture they want. You know what I mean. That face behind the camera says, "Oh, I didn't catch that. Do it again, will ya?" Do it again!? That's a false memory, my friend. Actually, sometimes the moments of recapture are pretty fun and worth capturing themselves...as long as you remember which is which.

My point is, sometimes writing about things I've done feels like I'm recapturing a moment. And that sorta thing is secondhand and lousy. Ah, I know, it's like that Emerson quote I posted, like "going out of the house to see the moon." The real impact and happiness just hits you, unprepared, without camera in hand, without pen in hand. That's not to say it can't happen that way, but usually not.

This is not to suggest that writing about such moments are not worth anything. It's to say that what we write, and the pictures we take, the tangible stuff, can actually replace the memory, instead of reinforcing it. Better than nothing, I guess. Speaking of memories, I just read a tag on Betsy Bradshaw's blog that I responded to...so, I guess I'm supposed to pass it on. I'd like anyone reading to write a little memory about me. Whatever you like. I realize that not too many people read this, or make comments if they do, so, I don't expect a lot of replies.

And what with my disinclination to write about my day-to-day, I'm going to do another tag that I saw on Jennie Payne's blog. Ironically, I'm usually much more in the mood to write about the goings on of the day than to do this sort of thing. Go figure.

8 Things I Am Passionate About
1. Friendship - This is number one because it involves all of our most important relationships with others from God to Family to Spouse, as well as to those we generally consider friends.
2-4. From the Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
5. Prayer
6. Education
7. Music
8. Literature

8 Books I Have Read and Enjoy
1. Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson
2. The Book of Mormon
3. The Pearl of Great Price
4. The Odyssey
5. Lectures on Faith
6. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde
7. Macbeth
8. The Lord of the Rings

8 Words and Phrases I Often Use
1. Yo! (as a greeting)
2. Yoink! (when I snatch something up)
3. I said you suck! (as I response when someone asks me to repeat something)
4. Mmmeehh! (sad The Cheat-like sound)
5. Bah! (frustrated expression)
6. Swish! (something went just right, like when a basketball swishes into the net)
7. Sweet! (when food is sweet, jk)
8. Kaa! (if you haven't heard this one, you should ask)

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
1. Graduate (shouldn't be too hard if I avoid death sports this year)
2. Marry
3. Have a son
4. Publish something
5. Live out of state
6. Be and find continuous inspiration
7. Help someone find the gospel
8. Go on a sailing voyage (really)

8 Things I Learned This Past Year
1. Progress is not exponential.
2. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
3. To be good is not enough, you must be good in the right way.
4. Priorities are as important as dreams...they are your dreams.
5. Every relationship should include Christ.
6. Working as a whole toward an end has significantly more power than individual efforts.
7. Life gets pretty crappy when you put off paying tithing.
8. Don't half-express yourself.

8 Places I Want to See (before I die?)
1. Greece
2. Egypt
3. Venice
4. Hawaii
5. New Zealand
6. England
7. New England
8. China

8 Things I Miss
1. Family
2. Friends that have moved away
3. Working with people
4. When USU and Logan were a new adventure
5. Biology and Classics classes
6. An airconditioner
7. My totally awesome ringtones
8. McDonald's frysauce

8 Things I Currently Want/Need
1. $!!
2. A place to stay this fall
3. School loan
4. Newness
5. Positive dating attitude (I admit)
6. Discipline
7. mp3 player
8. Compliments (love those ;) )

Singin' N' some Rain

This weekend was a lot of fun. I went to Salt Lake on Friday and hung out with Ali and Matt. We didn't do much for the 4th of July except go to the Pie and have what turned out to be a pretty nasty Greek Pizza. Every inch of it was covered with low-quality lamb. I actually didn't even try it, because the smell was a little too nauseating. I was perfectly content with their delicious cheesy bread, though. We were planning on watching fireworks from the stadium since Ali lives right by it, but they didn't have them. We're guessing that it will happen on the 24th. I also missed the fireworks in Logan due to work, so, I really want to go see some for the 24th now. I do love a good firework show.

On Saturday my nephew Noah got baptized. I didn't get to see my other nephews get baptized, so I was pretty excited about it. It was especially cool because they did the confirmation just afterwards. When I first got to the Stake Center, Noah came right over and gave me a hug. When someone pointed out that Matt had also come in, Noah said "I know," and continued his way down the hall to get ready. I don't want to say I was happy that Matt didn't get a hug. But I was happy that I got singled out. That sounds weird, but it meant a lot. I don't get to see them very often.

After having lunch together, Matt and I went out to see Speed Racer with Scott and the kids. I was pretty bored, but I think the boys liked it. I was thinking that it was a stupid movie, but would probably be a fun video game. I blame it on the monkey. Monkeys automatically make movies horrible. My niece Emily didn't seem too entertained by the movie either, so she was hanging out in the lobby. When I went out to get a drink, I bought her a rub-on tattoo, and we went to the bathroom to put it on. She was really excited about it, which was pretty hilarious. I also bought the boys some tattoos after the movie. One cool thing about the movie, I will say, is that it introduced me to the Korean pop sensation, Rain. Of course, what I really mean is that it introduced me to the rivalry between Rain and his nemesis, Stephen Colbert. They both put out killer music videos:



But what the battle finally came down to was a Dance Dance Revolution dance-off, where sadly, Rain outshined Colbert's sweet sweet dancing skills:

Rain!!!

After the movie, we picked up Ali and went out to a birthday party for my friend Dave. It was a lot of fun, complete with Guitar Hero and fireworks. Personally, I've always been more a fan of throwing parties than going to them. You can invite who you want, and do what you want, and see all your plans and preparations come to fruition, with full enjoyment. So, I tend to notice elements of party planning when I go to other peoples' parties now. And I can say that Dave was well prepared, from all the signs, decorations, and food, to a complete transformation of his room to a dance floor, including his very own fog machine. I think I'm allergic to those, I mean, they make me sneeze at least.

On the way home from the party, a Starship song came on the radio and Matt, Ali and I all burst into song. All of a sudden, we were in the mood for karaoke. The only place to really do that late on a Saturday night is a bar, so we decided to pick up Ali's friend Gentry to come with us, who knows where we could sing nearby. I had never sung karaoke before, so, it was a first. That's right, never before. And that's right, I let it loose in a bar, to Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf! Gentry happened to have a Duran Duran shirt on, so she sang it with me. I can't say I enjoyed it that much. I think it was the fact that I was...in a bar. But, that was a new and interesting experience. So, have you ever heard that people really let out some emotions when they are drunk? Like, "I love you, man!" when they don't know you. Well, Matt and I got the, "I respect you!" speech, because we don't drink alcohol. It was kinda funny, really. As it turned out, closing hours didn't even stop our singing, we kept going all the way home with the radio. However, despite the mood that I get in the next time I belt out R-E-S-P-E-C-T...I think I'll avoid a karaoke bar.

Nerd Band

The most recent issue of Rolling Stone featured an in-depth article on none other than...(let's have a massively elaborate drum roll please, complete with such flourishes as chimes, crotales, timbales, and melodic cowbells)...RUSH! And no, they were not critical this time, but finally objective enough to say,"Music taste aside, the scope of Rush's achievement is undeniable - 18 studio albums, more than 35 million records sold worldwide, a legion of fans as loyal as Deadheads and the Kiss Army. Still, much of the world ranks Rush somewhere just north of the mullet. Their hypertrophic musicianship is mocked by critics, their lyrical pedantry spoofed by hipsters, their singer's voice a subject of churlish speculation..."

Wow, "just North of the mullet," huh? That is an insult I have never heard. But no, I have no qualms with the article. So, I will move on, and include some snippets that I found interesting. I'll do it this way, I'll pose a question, and answer it with quotes from the article. In fact, I'll keep all the questions geared on the undeniable stimga that Rush is a "nerd band."

What is your stereotypical Rush fan like?

"Under bright houselights, the 17,000-capacity venue is quickly filling with fans of the Canadian rock trio Rush - many resembling the two young men I find sitting 10 rows from the stage: brow-fringing hair, utilitarian glasses, sprouts of chin whisker. They look straight out of an '82 yearbook photo of the after-school D&D club - a suggestion neither finds insulting. 'We fully embrace that,' says Sam, 21, an electrical-engineering student with a Ziggy Stardust tee and Harry Potter tattoo. 'That's definitely our lifestyle, the whole nerd thing. We play video games and listen to Rush, we play video games about Rush. That's what we did all last night in preparation for this.'"

So, Rush fans are nerds?

"The American-Nerd Age is nigh. Today, everyone from the bed-headed club promoter to the siliconed spokesmodel calls themselves a "nerd" because they play Sudoku or can operate an iPhone. But 34 years ago, when singer-bassist Geddy Lee, guitarist Alex Lifeson and drummer Neil Peart first emerged on the music scene, the n word had teeth. And if you were heavy into Rush - three skinny Canadians with a fixation for sprawling rock epics and Tolkien references - you had found your home."

So, the members of the band are nerds too?

"A ruddy 55-year-old with a Robert Mitchum-ish brow, Peart stands drinking bottled water, dressed head to toe in a ninjalike black suit topped by a black tarn bearing the logo from Rush's 2007 album, Snakes and Arrows. One pant leg is cinched by a bicycle clip. His feet are in dancing shoes. "

Yep, you heard it here. Neil Peart dresses like a Ninja with dancing shoes.

"'This is to absorb the sweat,' Peart says of his outfit...'They're so you get the dance and glide on the pedals like you get on a dance floor.'"

That's it though, I mean, they never look like characters out of some fantasy novel, right?

"With his long hair, soul patch and round sunglasses, the 54-year-old Lee suggests either a French semiotics professor or an abstract expressionist. He's often noticed but frequently misplaced. 'For some reason, Latino people think I'm Ozzy Osbourne,' says Lee. 'I don't know-big nose, long hair? Others say Bono.'

When Rush emerged as a hard-rock power in the Seventies, Lee entered the history books as one of the genre's truly sui generis frontmen: gimlet eyes, ectomorph frame, noted proboscis. Robert Plant may have sung about Tolkien's mystic realm of Mordor; Lee looked like he'd been there."

It's true. The man really looks very witch-king-like.

But does he act nerdy too?

"Sitting under Toronto's former Sky-Dome, Lee recalls Rush's U.S. debut, at Pittsburgh's Civic Arena in 1974. "They asked us if we wanted anything in our dressing room, so I asked for some Southern Comfort," he says. "I read that rock singers drank that before they went on. So I had this little shot when we go on, and I'm like, 'Holy mackerel!' I've got all of 26 minutes to play, and I'm dizzy for half of it.' Behold Rush's entire history of onstage intoxication."

Now while some might argue that any rock stars that are responsible enough not to get into the drug/alcohol scene at all must be nerds, I think that what I'm really aiming at here as evidence of the nerd factor is the phrase, "Holy mackerel!" Now, that's pretty nerdy.

How was their luck with the ladies?

"Now for the sex. This wont take long either. Lifeson is married to his first girlfriend, Lee is married to his high school sweetheart, and Peart was with the same woman for 22 years until she passed away in 1997. Of Rush's 150-odd songs, not a single one concerns that rather popular rock & roll topic: chicks - which, when compared to the likes of Kiss, makes Rush more or less the AV Club of 20th-century rock."

Songs without chicks are probably pretty nerdy. What did they write about?

"When Peart signed on as Rush's drummer, he also took on the band's lyric-writing duties, beginning one of the most infamous oeuvres in the entire rock canon. Peart did not write like a lyricist. He wrote like a philosopher. A German one. In translation. 'I was ambitious and had wide interests,' says Peart. 'So I kind of tried writing about everything: autobiography, science fiction, fantasy, social commentary and junior philosophy.'"

Did the fans like it?

"...Rush dived off the deep end of prog with Caress of Steel. The album, whose five songs contained the 12-minute "The Necromancer" (which drank deeply from the well of Tolkien) and the 19-minute "The Fountain of Lamneth" (about a search for the fountain of youth), tanked. The band went on an internally dubbed 'Down the Tubes Tour'...But at this rock bottom, Rush found their moment of clarity...

The result was 2112, widely considered Rush's masterwork: a seven-part, dystopian fantasy complete with interplanetary war, robotic vocal effects, instrumental fireworks and clerical bureaucracies straight from the Dune trilogy. With a theatrical pitch somewhere between Jesus Christ Superstar and Pink Floyd's The Wall, 2112 portrays a galaxy controlled by one Red Star of the Solar Federation, whose Priests of the Temples of Syrinx dictate all cultural life. In the titular year, a young hero discovers an ancient, mind-freeing relic - yes, an electric guitar - and brings this Promethean gift to the Talibanic priests, who promptly wreck it and ground him, sending him off to his bedroom, where he presumably smokes bud, bums out and eventually kills himself. After which a coup brings a new galactic order and completes the most heroic rendition of the cranky-adolescent-male consciousness ever committed to vinyl.

2112 went multiplatinum and won Rush their independence. But it did more than find an audience. With philosophical touchstones in Orwell, Nietzsche and the band's acknowledged hero, Ayn Rand (whose politics got the band members labeled cryptofascists in the late Seventies), the album played a role analogous to that of L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology-launching book, Dianetics - eventually amassing the most die-hard, detail-obsessed rock fans in history."

I think that that paints a pretty good picture of this author's initial claim that Rush is a "nerd band." And perhaps this is why the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame overlook them time and again, despite their obvious success. "Nerds have no place in Rock and Roll!" I can hear them protest. Or, perhaps they have something against Canadians. Anyhow, I like that the closing remarks of the article reflect the bands' feelings about this well-known rejection into the hall of fame.

"Self-effacing poise may be rare to arena rockers, but like Green Party candidates and Nascar heroes, the members of Rush have adjusted to both idolatry and disregard. Just prior to tonight's dinner, they were once again snubbed by the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, which instead inducted no greater rock luminaries than the Dave dark Five. But Rush seem convincingly unfazed. 'I just keep saying we're too young to be in there,' says Lee.

'Yeah,' says Peart. 'Unlike all those other people, we're still working.'

'I think it really upsets our fans,' allows Lifeson. 'It's a big issue for them.'

It's true that Rush doesn't mean today what it did in '76 or even '96. It may mean more. Back when Peart was lost in America, Lee remembers knowing that his friend's path back would be through music. 'Because that's who he was,' Lee says. 'The quickest way to health is to be who you are and do that thing that you love to do.' And if today's Rush stands for anything besides dazzling chops and heady abstractions, it may be that simple, oddly courageous conviction: doing what you love - whether it gets you called a nerd, spurned by your label or turned into an icon."

So, if you've read this far, you've basically read half the article. But here it is in full. And if you've read this far you know the message I want to leave with you. Do what you love! Be who you are! Even the n word, just like Rush, but the n word with teeth.

I SEE YOU

Imagine that you are walking the bustling city streets of Manhattan. Usually you tend to ignore the giant billboards, whose bright colors, through over-exposure, have amazingly become as bland as hospital walls to you. But today you pass a digital billboard, with crisp high definition advertisements that seem to change just as someone new passes by. Your interest piqued, you take special notice in walking past it, and see the advertisement suddenly change to one for your favorite restaurant. And the featured image happens to be your favorite dish.

No, that could never happen...really, you might think. In reality, it may actually happen in the not-too-far-distant future. In reality, this technology is underway. In reality, something like it exists today. According to an article in The New York Times, some billboards are being equipped with cameras that are gathering information, about YOU. Okay, perhaps not your thoughts, feelings, and inner-most shames and wishes, but in the very least it is capable of tracking age, gender, physique, and interest in the billboard (by gauging how long you look at it).

The article claims that the makers of these devices are not using actual video recordings, but software that can determine these characteristics of individuals by such sophisticated means as calculating the distance between facial features, among others. At present these measures are designed to distinguish gender, but in the future it may be used to distinguish race as well. If you ask me, I think that this is much creepier than regular ol' video recording. Can you imagine the price of this magic billboard? Though, of course, they are trying not to invade the public's privacy. "Phhfff," I scoff.

And just as the scenario suggests, the goal here is to target the ad specifically to the passers-by. Yeah, and you thought ads at the movies ticked me off. They do. However, this is going too far, to dangerously...dystopian proportions. At least, it would be if the profiling technology could become as accurate as a retinal scan. AND if the advertisements tempted us to our damnation. That is of course if you don't have too much trouble picturing CEOs with pitch forks, horns, and a tail. Hmmm, maybe this IS something to worry about.

Although I hope you've gotten a disturbing glimpse at what advertising has become, you ought to know that I like to be over-dramatic at times, and that I hate marketing. But if you are interested, I suggest you check out the article.

Am I the only one that can hear

the voice of Sauron piercing my brain?

"I SEE YOU!"

No End In Sight

Recently I've become a member of Netflix, and I love the service. In fact, I've actually been renting documentaries lately, as I'm acknowledging a bit of a shift in my interests the last few years. Yes, I like non-fiction, and yeah, documentaries rock. But it's not a very popular genre at the video store or on Redbox.

Anyway, this weekend I got No End In Sight in my mailbox. If you haven't heard about it, it is a documentary featuring clips and interviews with those involved and opposing many courses of action in the war with Iraq. I wish I had seen it sooner, and I wish it had come out sooner, honestly. I knew that things with the war weren't going well, and a lot of suffering on both the part of Iraqies and our soldiers seemed very needless. But, I admit, I didn't know very many details. I admit also that I generally stay away from the news. I had a professor a while ago who kept up very well with what was going on in the world. Each day when I'd come into work, I'd ask how he was. And often he'd say, "Terrible! ___ people died in ____ today." It made me depressed. I didn't want to feel terrible about something I couldn't control.

Anyway, I feel no worse after watching this documentary. Once again, I knew things were bad, I just didn't know details. After watching, I was irrate to discover that so many bad decisions were made by people who did not consult with others, especially those with much more experience in the matters of their decisions. Here's a few things that particularly upset me:

1. The decision to disban the Iraqi military was very arbitrary, unsupported, and the results devastating. Thousands of soldiers no longer had money for their families. You can't really afford to live without money.
2. The Pentagon alone was responsible for post war reconstruction, and none of them really knew what they were doing. They ignored most of the proposed ideas, in several well-prepared volumes, by those who had experience.
3. President Bush did not even read the Executive summary of the report written on the state of the people in Iraq. It was one page long.
4. 18 billion dollars was proposed to help the reconstruction efforts to provide the people of Iraq with food, water, electricity, etc. A year after the proposal only one billion was spent, and very little after that as well.
5. One of the men they interviewed on the street said that things were bad under Saddam, but that things were worse now. Now, that's a comment that ought to put things into perspective!
6. The government knew where a large storage facility of weapons were being kept, but they "didn't have enough men to guard it." In consequence, the opposition in Iraq who were angry with us were able to get a hold of these unguarded weapons. And unfortunately, many US soldiers were killed as a result.
7. Donald Rumsfeld...wow, what an @** ****.

However, the efforts of the mass majority to do what is right in the matter of this war is also very apparent. There are many more people to praise than criticize for certain. However, when the control lies in the hands of those who made mistakes, and these mistakes affected the lives and well being of so many people...one can really only focus on the negative here.

It's a documentary I feel everyone should see. Check out the trailer.

And I will make an effort to keep up with the news now, for crying out loud! Also along these lines, I also apologize to my dad for having made fun of him for only watching C-Span. I'm pretty sure I was watching crap like Saved By the Bell in those days. Wonderfully patient fathers...I love my dad :)

Finally, My Own Computer

Hooray, I finally can use the internet whenever I want! It really was frustrating to be restricted to only using it when I was on campus. That actually is a lot more often than you might think, I do have plenty of time to use computers at work, but I don't get to do the fun stuff. You know, listen to music, and watch videos, etc. (basically everything that makes noise). And depending on the keyboard I use, or the class, sometimes even typing is too noisy. At least, whenever I do much of that I have to use semi-cautious keystrokes. Boy, it's fun to bang on that that spacebar!

Anyway, I got this computer about a month ago from my sister. It was full of viruses to the point that the internet wouldn't even run, meaning that anti-virus programs weren't going to run either. So, we had to erase the hard drive. Supposing that someone in my family had some Windows XP software, I wasn't too concerned about the extreme of erasing the hard drive. No one had it. I don't really think they provide those anymore with new computers. I guess it's a good thing. I think that the license agreements on the cd roms include being able to put the software on two computers, though. I don't know. But, since I couldn't do it this way, I had to buy some. At least I did't have to worry that I bent any software agreement ethicalities.

Until then I had some Windows 98 on it (these cds were still floating around), which almost irritated me more than if it had no operating system at all. I'm a jerk, I complain about my parents' computer still having it pretty often. Anyway, when I first got the computer home, I tried to connect to the internet. However, all we have here is wireless, and Windows 98 didn't even have an option for that. Once I installed my XP, I again tried to connect to the internet through the little wizards, and it wasn't working. I spent too long trying to figure that out, actually. All the wizard seemed to tell me was that I was "missing hardware."

"Thanks, Mr. Wizard," I thought. "Your vagueness was helpful."

Then I remembered that one of the options for the wizard had a picture of a usb device. So the next day I decided to get me a USB wireless network adapter from Best Buy, and poof, I found my network and was on the internet.

Then there were still more problems to solve. When I turned on the computer for the first time I wondered what I could even do with it right away, and I thought that listening to a cd is simple enough, right? I stuck in a Rush cd, and...nothing. No sound. I went to the Control Panel, and there wasn't even an option to adjust the volume. Now, I just had a useless box that wouldn't even play a cd. However, once I got on the internet last night I was able to find a driver that downloaded in less than a minute, and there was sound! It was awesome.

The next really annoying problem was the appearance of webpages. They were huge, so large that there was this horizontal scroll button that I had to use to see the whole right side of the page. I wasted some more time screwing around in the Control Panel and Internet Explorer Options to try to fix it, but once again, all it took was a quick little download of a display driver and it was normal.

So, technically the computer wasn't entirely free. I had to buy some software and a usb adapter. But, I am very satisfied with myself that I was able to fix everything that was wrong with it myself. Now, if anyone needs help with old/used computers, or if you have to erase your hard drive, I might have useful suggestions.

1. If your Network Systems has no wireless connection option (despite windows having a wireless conncetion wizard), you're not going to be able to connect wirelessly without installing a PCI card internally, or getting an external usb adapter.
2. If something goes funky with your sound or visual, you best look into downloading drivers instead of wasting your time with the Help Glossary. There are free services on the net that scan your system and figure out what drivers need a boost.

I don't know much about computers at all. So, these are only suggestions...not true blue trouble shooting tips. They are just personal discoveries that helped me get my computer going yesterday. Once again, hooray!

No Reply

Though my job is usually stress-free, once in a while I get upset by a lack of good communication. Going back to my complaints about the computer age as far as communication goes, I feel ignored. That is, because I don't get responses. You see, we have to fill out these facilitator reports for each class about any problems that we had, etc. In one of my classes, the same problem happens each class period where the distance sites can't see the video from us in Logan, or any other sites besides Vernal and Roosevelt. Can't you imagine how annoying it would be to never be able to see your instructor?

Now, it is especially weird for video to be locked on two sites. When it's just on one, all that needs to be done usually is to adjust the "host" on the connection back to Logan, and restart the system. Anyway, every time this class starts I end up having to call the operations center, and they act like everything is working fine, because as it turns out, they happen to see everything just fine. In the midst of their confusion and me trying to convince them that, "No, we really can't see what you see," it takes about twenty minutes before the problem is miraculously solved. I say miraculously because I'm not sure what they do, and they don't tell me. All I end up figuring out is what I hear being whispered between faint faraway voices at the op. center. Once I heard the word "bridge"...so I included in my report that I believed that the problem was with the bridge. For each report, I describe the problem in detail, and then try to guess what was done to fix it. It's not really my job to explain why something weird happens, so much. I'm more behind the What?'s than the Why?'s in a lot of situations. But, I figure that if it really is so confusing to them, they might want a clue of how to fix it if it happens again.

But my report doesn't ever seem to do anything, because the next day the same problem occurs again and I'm back on the phone trying to convince some other guy that I've tried all the stuff he is recommending and suggesting, and that none of those things will work. If someone just remembered what they did to help, or made a report of their own, this wouldn't be a problem. And a waste of time. And a frustration. It's a bit like the movie Groundhog Day, but even worse because it isn't really the same day repeating itself over and over again. No, it just feels like it. Even if the problem could not be permenantly fixed, I think that I deserved a reply email to that effect. But, no reply. However, this class just ended today, so I don't have to deal with that nonsense anymore. Although, at least I finally found out what the culprit was, sorta. The guy I talked to today vaguely remembered hearing about our problem a while ago, and told me that two bridges were involved in the connection, rather than one. He didn't know what to do about that, though.

On top of this, yesterday I proctored a test out in the hallway. Somehow, other departments seem to be unaware of the schedule for Distance Ed., or that we are in their buildings doing classes, or that we even exist. First of all, I've seen a few occasions myself when a group has booked the same room at the same time we are doing a distance class, and they say that those who they made arrangements with claimed that the room was free. This is what happened yesterday. Not only could we not use the room (which for a distance ed. class requiring the cameras, mics, ect., a specific room is important), but it was a test day and the tests hadn't been delivered to the room as usual. "Great, my own manager forgot about me," I thought. And flustered and blushing I told the students that I would go to the computer lab and print out their tests, and that we would move to another room. For some reason, they wanted to take their tests in the hallway instead. It was kinda funny. We were all in a circle. After the people in our room left (after an hour!), I stole a coke out of the cooler they left in there. Ha! Luckily, the students didn't miss any of the lecture following the test, because the room was cleared by then. And it was a final exam review, so, I would have had an angry mob on my hands if they missed it. So, the double-booking of the rooms is just the one thing.

Another reason why I'm pretty sure no one knows about our class schedules is that last summer they started closing the library at five after the on-campus classes were over. Realizing that Distance Ed. still had classes going in the library well after five, I asked one of their employees about it. She said, "Classes are over."

"No," I corrected. "Distance Ed. classes are still going."

Once again, an oblivious reaction. Unfortunately, upon discovery of this fact, we evidently didn't have enough power in our department to warrant the library being open a few more hours. Incidently, the air conditioning wasn't going for a couple weeks either. So, it sure did suck when I had a class that started at eight, and I had to get there at five so I wouldn't be locked out (and to let everyone else in, of course). Seriously, I spent hours alone in the hot library because of it. That was kinda fun, though. I set up a scavenger hunt with cute little poetic riddles. And at the end was the book The Quest for Utopia, which in turn directed you to a pile of quarters. Ooh, it was a treasure hunt too, I guess.

Anyway, this is likely the only blog entry that I will write about work. For this job, at least. I was just a little irritated, so that's why I wrote it. I know it doesn't entertain much. I guess that getting ignored has always been a hot-button issue with me, from work to home, to friends, and of course, the government.

Actually, I'm so tired right now partly due to this issue. Not only am I tired from working a 12 day (still in the process), but I also walked a few miles this afternoon in the hot sun. The kicker was why I had to walk in the sun so much. I was waiting at a bus stop for twenty minutes and when the bus came the driver didn't see me, and passed by! It was so stupid, but it made me...sad. Ignored again. But, I did stop by a lemonade stand that I saw on my way home to get a drink...and I've been thinking just recently about how I'd like to pass by one of those. Huh.

"O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody, or nothing worth!"

Speaking of witches, I've been thinking about Macbeth lately. Though, what first got me thinking about Macbeth again was a documentary I rented called The Hobart Shakespeareans. It was really good. I recommend it especially to those going into teaching. It's about an inner city elementary school teacher in L.A. who directs a performance of a Shakespeare play by his class each year. That particular year, they happened to be doing Hamlet. It was so impressive that these 10-year-olds, who incidently were all second language speakers, were understanding and acting out what is generally considered Shakespeare's greatest play. The documentary even featured the appearance of Ian McKellen, who comes to see them perform each year. I really like Ian McKellen.

So, with Hamlet in mind, I decided to read my favorite scene from the movie I watched with, well, I don't know his name. Remember Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? He's a good actor. Anyway, in this scene Hamlet has just come across Fortinbras' army, who are marching to claim some pretty useless land that has "no profit but the name." It is such a huge and shameful contrast when Hamlet compares himself with this army. Thousands of men are risking their lives for something so insignificant, as he compares it to an "egg-shell", and he is not willing to act on the great injustice that has been done to him. And I love his conclusion, "O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloodly, or nothing worth!" Yeah, blood! Anyway, here's his speech:

How all occasions do inform against me,
And spur my dull revenge! What is a man,
If his chief good and market of his time
Be but to sleep and feed? a beast, no more.
Sure, he that made us with such large discourse,
Looking before and after, gave us not
That capability and god-like reason
To fust in us unused. Now, whether it be
Bestial oblivion, or some craven scruple
Of thinking too precisely on the event,
A thought which, quarter'd, hath but one part wisdom
And ever three parts coward, I do not know
Why yet I live to say 'This thing's to do;'
Sith I have cause and will and strength and means
To do't. Examples gross as earth exhort me:
Witness this army of such mass and charge
Led by a delicate and tender prince,
Whose spirit with divine ambition puff'd
Makes mouths at the invisible event,
Exposing what is mortal and unsure
To all that fortune, death and danger dare,
Even for an egg-shell. Rightly to be great
Is not to stir without great argument,
But greatly to find quarrel in a straw
When honour's at the stake.
How stand I then,
That have a father kill'd, a mother stain'd,
Excitements of my reason and my blood,
And let all sleep? while, to my shame, I see
The imminent death of twenty thousand men,
That, for a fantasy and trick of fame,
Go to their graves like beds, fight for a plot
Whereon the numbers cannot try the cause,
Which is not tomb enough and continent
To hide the slain? O, from this time forth,
My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!

After reading this, I thought how interesting it was that at times the character Hamlet seems to be the opposite of Macbeth. While Hamlet has the flaw of inaction, Macbeth has the flaw of "vaulting ambition." Hamlet lacks courage, and Macbeth has gone too far with his courage...beyond virtuous proportions. Yet, they both decide to kill a man in order to gain or keep their courage. It's the same choice, but under the circumstances we see it as a good one for Hamlet, and a bad one for Macbeth. Hamlet makes this choice close to the end, and Macbeth does so close to the beginning. It's also interesting that one play accounts for the forethought to the decision, and another the aftermath of it. I'd be interested to read any essays on the comparisons and contrasts between these characters, now. Hmmm...maybe I should do a search.

In the interest of a quick visual, I did a little Google Image search. Here's a little look at some contrasts. This picture of Hamlet is from Act I, and the one of Macbeth is from Act II. See how different they look?

Hamlet

"O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody, or nothing worth!"

Macbeth

"I am in blood stepp'd in so far that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er."

Now, compare those quotes, which occur near the end of the plays, to the pictures from the beginning. Wow, they certainly have changed! Hamlet wants to stop hesitating and start cracking skulls, and Macbeth is so accustomed to violence that he is now referring to murder as "tedious." It almost seems that the quotes should go with the opposite pictures, if you didn't know better. I just thought that was pretty cool. Incidently, haha, that sketch of Hamlet was made for Ian McKellen. See the writing, "To Dear Ian"?

Since I personally prefer the story of Macbeth (perhaps more due to my ignorance of Hamlet than any particular claims of superiority), I have been looking it over much more than that soliloquy of Hamlet. I actually have some lectures on Macbeth (along with other Shakespeare plays), that I have been looking at lately. The Teaching Company is really awesome. They have a sale that ends tomorrow actually...maybe I'll give in and get something. Anyway, since it's on my mind, I might share some of what I've learned/observed about Macbeth. I mean, I will. Count on it.

I just realized how different my blog is than most. It's an outlet for my thoughts more than a form of "communication" (bizarrely, crappy computer age) while I'm practically isolated all day. I bore myself when writing about what "my day" consists of. Blah! I mean, my life is really, really exciting...and pregnant with possibilities!! Now I'm just quoting the results of a personality test I once took. It actually used the phrase "pregnant with possibilities" in regards to my life. So, maybe I'm being particularly ironic in my sarcasm.

Note: I like the computer age very much, despite my complaints.

Witch Hunt

Note: You probably ought to read "Putting Blender in the Blender" first.

Let's begin with a song that came from what many Rush fans (not myself) believe to be the height of their career, the album Moving Pictures. Witch Hunt is a dark metaphoric narrative which relates a self-righteous madstricken mob burning their victims to the issue of censorship. How apt! After all, that is precisely how many groups of people have taken censorship into their own hands. Burning. And it was a common practice throughout history, and often the reasons can be pinned on religious censorship. Among the not too-far-distant incidences that come to my mind are the Nazi book burnings and the group back in the 60s who burned Beatles albums and propaganda after John Lennon made the comment about The Beatles being "bigger than Jesus." Also, my mind reflects on the novel Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, where the firemen in the future are not responsible for putting fires out, but for starting them. Burning is certainly the most blatant and destructive means of censorship, when only ashes remain.

I became a fan of that book about ten years ago, as well as 1984 in high school, and am still attracted to dystopian themes involving censorship today. What's particularly powerful about the lyrics of this song, I find, is that it isn't a far-fetched, dramatic dystopian. Witch hunts really happened. It's history, people. Much more dramatic, when you think about it. But no, Peart is no Bradbury or Orwell. But he picked a killer way of getting his point across:

The night is black

Without a moon

The air is thick and still

The vigilantes gather on

The lonely torch lit hill

Features distorted in the flickering light

The faces are twisted and grotesque

Silent and stern in the sweltering night

The mob moves like demons possessed

Quiet in conscience, calm in their right

Confident their ways are best
The righteous rise
With burning eyes
Of hatred and ill-will
Madmen fed on fear and lies
To beat and burn and kill
They say there are strangers who threaten us
In our immigrants and infidels
They say there is strangeness too dangerous
In our theaters and bookstore shelves
That those that know what's best for us
Must rise and save us from ourselves
Quick to judge
Quick to anger
Slow to understand
Ignorance and prejudice
And fear walk hand in hand...

I won't pretend I remember most of the literary terms and technical jargon I learned in high school. I remember some basics though. I just have to point out that there is a heck of a lot of alliteration, and I notice that Peart uses it all the time. I've always been a fan of it. So, be warned that I am likely to always point it out. And though all of the rhymes are simple enough, I think that "ill-will" with "kill" is simply brilliant. I've also noticed a couple of Rush songs where the lyrics can be written at least two ways and come off sounding the same. Here we have "strangers who threaten us" and "strangeness too dangerous." Or, when you hear it in the song, it also sounds like, "strangeness to danger us." But 'danger' is not conventionally, or ever, used as a verb. Is it? I guess that's what the word 'endanger' is for. Blast, that's not as interesting anymore.

And, of course, the song has my favorite punctuation mark: the ellipsis (...). No, I didn't completely remember that name either. I had to look up how to spell it. Personally, though, I overuse my dot, dot, dots. Anyway, here at the end of the song the ellipsis makes it seem like ignorance and prejudice are ongoing qualities. To me, it indicates that Peart has no solution. I'd like to think that if we are looking to find one, it's up to us individually. Really, I think it's taking the notion that "those that know what's best for us must rise and save us from ourselves" and flipping it into singular introspection. I'm thinking of that scripture about motes, you know, that concept.

Actually, this song also reminded me of a scene in...Footloose. That ellipsis indicates slight embarassment. Or, should I do what Strong Bad does? Actually, this song also reminded me of a scene in Footlose. Nah, it's a good movie. Anyway, I'm thinking of the part where the town is burning library books and the town preacher approaches them, rebuking them that there is no evil in the books, but in their hearts. He then tells them to go home, and rather sit in judgement on themselves. It was an interesting scene because it is meant to come as a surprise. We suspect that because he does not support dancing in public because it can foster corruption, that he would therefore approve of all the censorship going on. He's really a pretty good guy after all.

Back to the song, now, and winding down. What I always find interesting are the situations where the "good guys" are also, or actually the "bad guys", or vica versa, and where fear acts as the impetus to instill fear. And so I say, a job well done, Neil.

Putting Blender in the Blender

Alright, so back some time ago when I had my 2112 epiphany from my cardboard box, I was reading about Rush on Wikipedia. It all went along well until reaching the bottom where I read that Neil Peart made number two on Blender's list of the "40 Worst Lyricists in Rock". Now, personally, Peart's lyrics are one of my favorite things about Rush. And currently, he is my favorite lyricist in rock. But here, for Blender's list of the worst lyricists, he made number two?! Now, logically, you might wonder whether my opinions hold any weight against a music magazine. And in this case, I would have to say, "You betcha."

First of all, I don't think too much of Blender. I got egged into subscribing for it from those guys that visit all the apartments at Old Farm each semester trying to sell magazines. The first time around, I got rid of them with the honest and golden words "I have no money...at ALL." The second time, I gave in, but only because I said that I'd only get a magazine that suited my interests. Unless they had anything science or music related, I was out. I should have used some stricter criteria.

Anyway, that is how I started reading through Blender, which, as it turned out, was very disappointing. The only thing cool I got out of it was finding out that Ringo Starr and Keith Moon were pretty good friends, and I saw some advertisements for some interesting mp3/satellite radio players. In between were a lot of scandalous advertisements (in the back, at least), and audaciously crappy suggestions of what you "needed" to download. Now, I'll just let you know, anyone like me who likes philosophy really gets unnerved at the words "need", "must" or "should." I obviously haven't read enough of the magazine to make a logical argument against them...so, hopefully you don't have to make the mistake of subscribing to it yourself to believe me.

Anyway, I feel that poor Mr. Peart deserves a bit of support from those of us who don't trust the opinions of those behind Blender. And thus, perhaps as a corny play-on-words, but an accurate visual, I want to put Blender in the Blender. Yes, I personify my own "Blender".

"What exactly did they have to say, anyway?" you ask.

02 • Neil Peart
An ace on the rototoms, a train wreck on the typewriter.

Drummers are good at many things: exploding, drowning in their own vomit, drumming. But the Rush skinsman proved they should never write lyrics—or read books. Peart opuses like “Cygnus X-1” are richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science fiction, steeped in an eighth-grade understanding of Western philosophy. 2112, Rush’s 1976 concept album based on individualist thinker Ayn Rand’s novella Anthem, remains an awe-inspiring low point in the sordid relationship between rock and ideas. Worst lyric: “I stand atop a spiral stair/An oracle confronts me there/He leads me on light years away/Through astral nights, galactic days” (“Oracle: The Dream”)

What is particularly offensive here is that the lyric they chose happens to be one of my favorite parts of the song 2112 (on my playlist, almost 15 min. in). Any times in a Rush song where the music lingers on quietly and then the quietude is broken by Geddy Lee's screams is always cool. Now, the lyrics here, I realize, are not that great. However, they're not that bad, either. Let's consider a couple things. First of all, it's the worst Blender could apparently find of all his lyrics. He's been writing lyrics for about 30 years! Second, the fact that these lyrics are supposedly a prime example of the second worst lyricist in all of rock means that they didn't look very hard. In fact, I have a suspicion that they deliberately were targeting rock figures that have gotten significant praise for being deep or intellectual thinkers. Those Jim Morrison lyrics aren't bad either. In fact, I think they are pretty good. Maybe they're just expecting something amazing from people who like to read. Or perhaps they're just taking cheap shots, like those trippy Donovan lyrics. That's what 60s lyrics were all about... you know ;0. In their defense, though, minus genres such as pop, rap, and country, the field for cheap shots narrows significantly.

Well, I hope I got my Blender humming. Hereafter, I will often mention Peart lyrics, and what I like about them. Stay tuned, one day I'll hit purée.

Dejected, but Feeling Famous Too

After pawing through several adjectives yesterday, the best one was DEJECTED. Rush is not coming to Utah anymore! They are cutting their tour short in July. I was all excited about them coming, and told my friend Luke about it. He was excited too, which was awesome because I didn't think very many people even knew who they were...let alone would be excited to see them. Anyway, after checking their website, he let me know that no such stop to Salt Lake is on their current tour list. It ruined my day! There's still Styx and Journey, that would be fun...but they're not as cool as Rush.

On the bright side, band wise, I got a text message from Jimmy Eat World yesterday! Seriously. And one at 3:30 in the morning too. Haha, good thing it was on vibrate and they didn't wake me up with "kicking it in osnabruck." Where is that? Anyway, the deal with that is that I signed up for the service Twitter, which is like a "microblog" that can be sent to "followers" via text messaging (if you so choose). Now, I really don't see the point as far as friends and family goes. Just text them...morons. However, getting texts from Jimmy Eat World is really fun, it makes me feel famous too. It's a cool concept that-a-wise.

"So light, yet endless"

It's been raining the last few days, and it's absolutely beautiful outside. Not all rainy days are beautiful. I think that only a light summer rain really appeals to me, visually. Specifically, the contrast of the gray sky and the rich vibrant green of the grass and trees can only be seen during a summer rain, in Logan. In other seasons, the rain seems to drown out all color. And in a summer rain, you can go out without a jacket, and still be comfortable. In fact, I believe that the second you put a hood over your head...the rain begins to become a nuisance. Or, perhaps it is the other way around.

The Quad was particularly breathtaking. Lately, I've been pretty cynical about all businesses, and I often can't help looking for something wrong with this University (the business where all my money is going). But today, I only was pleased that USU has such a wonderful location that overlooks the valley and the temple on one end, and is so close to the mountains on the other. I love to see the moisture cloud around the mountains after it rains.



It all reminds me of the special feeling I got on this campus when I toured it back in high school. It felt like the right place to be.

It just felt so amazing today walking around outside. I don't know what was different, so I just picked the rain. That's not it, though. I'm just really happy without a reason for it. It reminds me of the title of C.S. Lewis's autobiography, "Surprised by Joy." That title has always fascinated me ever since I heard it.

While walking, I kept thinking of my favorite part of the Rush song, The Camera Eye, that says:

They seem oblivious

To a soft spring rain,

Like an English rain.

So light, yet endless

From a leaden sky.

(This song is now in my playlist)

As the lyrics were repeating in my head, I kept having the thought that today I was not oblivious...to a happiness that is "so light, yet endless."

"A being darkly wise and rudely great"

It looks as though I might have more back pain to come, as now I will be sitting at a computer for almost a good 40 hr a week. More money, though. Anyway, with all this time to spend with a computer in front of me, I've decided to do some online writing classes. The structure of a syllabus and all will hopefully force me to write regularly. I'm going to do a creative writing class
and a reading and writing short stories one. I actually think that getting into short stories would be a good idea, since the idea of doing a whole novel seems like too much. And if I've feigned to learn anything valuable from What About Bob?, it's baby steps.

Interestingly, while I was browsing some of this open courseware, I stumbled upon something that reminded me of one of my main characters, Hadrian, in the book I want to continue writing. Though, I never seem to get around to that. Pretty pathetic, actually. Anyway, these words are by Alexander Pope. I'm not sure if it is meant to be a poem, but it is a poetic expression of the nature of man, only a part of his larger Essay on Man.

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,

The proper study of mankind is Man.

Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,

A being darkly wise and rudely great:

With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,

With too much weakness for the Stoic's pride,

He hangs between, in doubt to act or rest;

In doubt to deem himself a God or Beast;

In doubt his mind or body to prefer;

Born but to die, and reas'ning but to err;

Alike in ignorance, his reason such,

Whether he thinks too little or too much;

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;

Still by himself abused or disabused;

Created half to rise, and half to fall:

Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;

Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl'd;

The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!

Wow, it really reminds me of how I picture Hadrian. Actually, I haven't included him in that much of what I have written yet, but he has a major role. If you'd like to learn a little about him, he shows up in chapter 1, 2, 8(?), and 10.

I've always want to create complex characters, and so that is my goal with writing The Secret of Aïdoneus. I hope to use a little of what I have learned from the bit of philosophy I have read over the last couple of years. Actually, the first thing I can remember reading that got me thinking philisophically was Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH when I was 12. I remember being really interested in the notion that the rats wanted to move to a destitute place they called Thorn Valley, and away from the comfort of the rose bush. They knew it was wrong to steal from the farmer, and so they decided to sacrifice their life with abudant food and electricity for something much more meager. I thought about it a lot, as well as the idea that the more we learn and are priveledged to discover, the more we are expected to develop a higher sense of morality. Not only that, but that the more we learn, the more we should desire to do so.

I also considered the other side, the opponent Jenner. What sort of a personality would a person develop if he had a lot of knowledge, but didn't desire to be more moral? What kind of fate would he have? Or perhaps, and I doubt I considered this then, what if he really thought that he was, in fact, becoming better, when he actually was becoming more corrupt? That is the real characteristic about the villain that I have come to be fascinated by as I have gotten older. I think it's interesting that these little questions I had as a kid are obviously still significant in my mind. These are the questions I want to wrestle around with, in a more mature manner, with my character Hadrian.

Spiders Hate Pink

I'm so glad that I'm not going to have a job in a cubical when I graduate...no offense Matt. I've just been working a few extra hours the last couple of days and I realized that sitting for over eight hours at a computer is really bad for one's (MY) back. Although, my back's been sore lately, as it is adjusting to my new firm mattress. Whereas, the one I had at Old Farm was basically just made out of that cheap yellow foam (no springs or anything). I actually prefer that thing, especially now.

As part of my b-day present, my sis gave me a massage. But, it didn't help as much as I had hoped. As long as I am mentioning my birthday, I'll try to remember everything I got: a 24-pack case of bottled coke, chocolate cookies, roses, a Jamba Juice, Homestar Runner dvds, a little corny unicorn purse filled with old-timey candy, a massage, House Season 3 dvds, a "speckled hug", lotion, and some money. I also got this weird crow music box thing. And by weird I mean freakin' awesome, of course.

My sister shares a rental contract for her massage studio with her friend Gentry who has a little store upstairs called Frosty Darling. It is so cute! All of the best items are handmade. Check it out: http://www.frostydarling.com/. Anyway, she was nice enough to give me the crow because I got such a kick out of it. She said it was a Bingo prize (which they play on Tuesdays apparently). The store even has a balloon toss like a genuine carnival! And I am a dead-eye shot, shooting. Three of three!!...from probably only three feet away.

On Sunday, my parents and I went to the cemetery in Heber and put some flowers on some of our family's graves. It was surprsing to see that just out of a few graves, two relatives had died on my birthday. Sad. And I hadn't realized before that both my grandpa Duke and his twin brother lost their first wives to the flu only within a day of each other. That's much more sad. And my mom was actually excited to show me the plot that they bought for themselves, which I thought was weird. I don't like thinking about the future, it feels so out of my control.

On Monday, I practically got to see my whole family (and all of my brothers!). It was a surprise, but a happy result of the fact that Scott's family couldn't picnic in the rain. We decided to give his kids Jason's old slide playset, and as we were taking it apart I noticed something moving inside of a shroud of spiderweb. "Ehw, an eggsack." I said. My brother Jason came over and gently poked out what was actually a pretty cool looking spider (not a horrible hord of spider babies), who had just been sheltering himself from the cold.

Jason then explained that spiders liked the playset for some reason. And then I remembered this hilarious Far Side cartoon with two spiders who had woven a web across the bottom of a slide. One of them says to the other, "If we pull this off, we'll eat like kings!" Haha. Anyway, my neice was nearby and was a little concerned that their new playset attracted spiders. "Oh no," Jason reassured, "spiders hate pink!" That seems reasonable for kids, right? After all, everything evil is somehow miraculously repelled by the mere mention of love (I'm thinking of the last Harry Potter film...). So, spiders likewise must be repelled by pink. Emily seemed satisfied.

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my 24th birthday! Originally, I was hoping to go to the concert for The Cure, but no one else really wanted to go, so we went and saw the new Indiana Jones. I suppose I'll give a little review without going into too much detail. So, since seeing it yesterday I've been wondering to myself whether this movie was a good one with some really stupid parts, or a bad one with some redeeming qualities. Right now, I'm leaning on the second choice.

First of all, the movie oddly starts out with the shot of a CGI prairie dog. At first I was wondering if this was actually a part of the movie, or if we were still watching Pixar previews. And if that wasn't enough, more of his CGI friends showed up later.

There were also a lot of very unplausable scenes. That, in itself, is not so bad. I mean, most action/adventure movies have those. But when the scene is something as ridiculous as Indiana surviving an atomic blast, and then rolling out of his lead-protectant fridge to look up at the mushroom cloud whose awesome force he has miraculously elluded...it's going too far. Now, if the scene were actually relevant to the plot, I might lighten up a little bit.

There are a couple other things that were bothersome. Corny lines, mostly. And scenes. Let's just hope that they don't really make Holes boy the new Indiana Jones.

There are, of course, some redeeming qualities (sadly, no Nazis). First of all, Marian's back. She's awesome! Also, the scenes in search of the skull were very true to the rest of the movies, and were very well done. I also thought that Cate Blanchett made a pretty cool villain. She somehow reminded me of the scene in Lord of the Rings where she was relating to Frodo what Galadriel would be like with the one ring. In this case, she covets the one skull to rule them all. But, she's not nearly as cool as these guys:


Don't you think?

Well, a thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday and got me presents. After all these years, I still consider my birthday "my special day," and so I really appreciate it. I still haven't seen my parents yet, so I'll blog about my presents and other aspects of my Memorial Day weekend soon.

And I'm not really bummed about not going to The Cure because there are so many other concerts I want to go to this summer much more. Also, I've been too preoccupied listening to Rush to listen to The Cure like I was planning to before the concert anyway.

Fruitless Pranks...of the Fruit Fly Sort

So, I just realized today that I'm pretty glad that I didn't put anesthetized fruit flies under Andy Anderson's door when I had the chance. I saw him today, and he said, "Good to see you again." It's very possible that he's forgotten my name, but at least I am still recognized.

Anyway, it all goes back to fall semester when my genetics lab partner Aaron and I had a little conversation about "pompous professors." And somehow we started talking about Andy Anderson. Now, I've worked for him for a couple of semesters, and haven't had many problems with him. But, when it came down to the nitty gritty topic at hand, I could not deny the pomp factor. And the last few times I had seen him he didn't even seem to remember me, so, I had a motive (the same as Homer Simpson's to shoot Mr. Burns, actually).

At the time, we were in the middle of anesthetizing our fruit flies and sorting them under the microscope when Aaron brought up the fact that Andy's office was just across the hall. I knew exactly what he was implying, and burst out laughing. You see, I always made an effort to spare the lives of the sleeping flies...and was always dumping them this place and that (outside of course), rather than killing them.

In my laughter, I couldn't stop imagining how hilarious it would be if the next time he walked into his office it was swarming with fruit flies. And all we would have to do to achieve this hilarity is simply slip them under the door. Haha! It was an entertaining thought, but we held out.

Well, now that I know he at least remembers my face, I'm glad we didn't do that prank. I might be seeing him more often too, as the Bio Department might start doing classes through Distance Education (we did an IP conference for them today). I might actually need a recommendation from him someday too, so, I won't feel guilty asking for it now.

Instant Karma

The justice of universal karma extends its mighty grasp even as far as a simple vending machine, I've found today. So, I put a dollar into this vending machine so that I could get some Doritos to snack on at work, and the corner of the bag got stuck, so it wouldn't drop down. That always sucks. So, I was a little irritated (moreso because I was hungry than that I had lost a bit of money). So, I put in another dollar so that I might have two bags. The first dropped down, but the second one also got stuck. "Oh well," I thought, "at least I got one."

After pushing the change button, however (since the chips cost 80 cents, not a dollar) I actually got two dimes and one of those coin dollars. "Hey!" I thought. "How did it know?" The change compensated exactly for my trapped chips. Haha.

I do find it cool that vending machines can tell the difference between American and Canadian quarters, as well as American quarters from before 1965...so, I tend to call them clever. Of course, I realize that the coins are likely weighed (simple enough). So, this "sophistication" begs the question: Did the machine give me an extra dollar in change because it recognized that it did not deliver its product? Or, did the machine have an odd malfunction in issuing its change, that just happened to exactly compensate for my loss? It boggles the mind!!

Rush Concert

Rush is coming to SLC (Usana Amphitheatre) on Monday, August 6th!! Wow, I love finding these things out! If anyone is interested, save the date. It should be an amazing show!

My Big Confession

I've finally acknowledged that it is time for a confession. A big one. The Beatles are officially NOT my favorite band. "What?!" you all cry. "Who is it??" Well, I've decided that choosing a favorite band of all time is not a good idea, as it will make me close-minded to explore the possibilities of loving new bands. And honestly, I really don't listen to The Beatles very much, and haven't for a long time. Although I have acknowledged that fact, I still have always claimed they are my favorite band. No more.

And crazy as I am, I see that Fate would have this be. Haha. I was at the movies a couple weeks ago (Iron Man), and was annoyed as usual by the commercials and continuous cycles of movie pop-quiz questions and such. Honestly, I love a blank screen until the movies start up. And since we pay to get in, I really don't think we should be forced to see commercials by any right. Anyway, one of the questions up on the screen just happened to be: "Who is your favorite band?" The guy next to me read this question aloud and said "Hm, let's see, I think it would have to be...Rush!" As I have been really into this band lately I was very happy by this remark, and turned and replied "I love Rush!" And we started talking about them for a few minutes.

I thought that it was especially cool, since they are not an incredibly popular band (mainstream-wise). Sadly, it seemed like the guy was on a date, so I felt inclined to not chat the boy up too much. Interestingly though, the girl he was with mentioned liking The Beatles, and I felt...a slight hint of disdain for them. Very fleeting, and possibly only because I wanted to talk to him longer and really couldn't because of her. Who knows. I just found it really satisfying that we both really liked a band that wasn't hugely popular, but are hugely talented for sure.

After this little experience, I moved into the Beach House (as I have mentioned), and have just been unpacking the last few days. And guess what got damaged in the move, the only thing? Amazingly enough, all my Beatles albums. No, no, but close. The glass on my Beatles collage was broken. It was sad!

And just yesterday, as I was cleaning out one of my boxes I saw this number written on the side of it:

Okay, now, check out this Rush album cover:

It was a weird sign. But a sign nonetheless. I needed to put the Beatles reign to an end, and acknowledge fully what I am currently obsessed with. Today, it's Rush. And I don't have a favorite band. And The Beatles are not the greatest band in history.

I consider admitting it in this blog a big step to expanding my musical horizons. And just so you know, the other day when someone saw my Yellow Submarine hoodie and said that they loved The Beatles, I withheld my usual "They're my favorite," and just said "Cool, me too." Wow, what a confession.

A View to a Kill

Well, summer is officially here, and I'm actually pretty excited about it. I've moved back to the Beach House, and am near some of my friends again. It's nice to be back.

As far as the job goes, I've actually decided to stick with the same one for the summer, for a few reasons:

1. I hate looking for a job.
2. I hate waiting around to get hired for a job.
3. I hate training for a job.
4. I like having my weekends off, always.

Good enough for me. I do like changes, but not at the expense of too much stress when you are absolutely poor. I am...absolutely poor. Unfortunately, for the first half of the summer I don't have very many hours at all (seriously, only about 25/week). That's what happens when small summer classes end up getting canceled. Bah! Maybe I'll just enjoy it, as I actually have Friday afternoon-Monday completely off. Wow, now that's a weekend!

In other news, the last couple of days I've been at Ali's house watching over her kitty Crash, and her garden, plants, etc. I was really looking forward to a whole week of just bumming around her house while she's in Oregon, but I actually had to come back early due to work starting earlier than expected. While there, I discovered a good reason why she should have someone staying in the house, rather than just having someone come by and check up on things.

So, I awoke Sunday morning to the sound of Crash's jingling bell from his collar as he jumped through the window (he comes in and out as he pleases). I looked up from my sleep to greet him, and he sets down this dead mouse on the floor and starts meowing in a bright and chipper fashion, as though to brag. I was a little horrified by the greeting, but a little amused at the same time by the nature of cats to impress you with their kills.

The next morning, I woke up to the same jingling and looked up to see a dead bird this time. Feathers all over and everything. Definitely gross. But then I thought, maybe this cat likes me if he's trying to impress me with two kills in two days. There is a bright side to everything. And it's a good thing I was there to get those dead animals out of the house.

Here's the culprit:

Anyway, now that I'm back I've got to unload all my stuff into my new room, which is actually really nice because it is usually a shared room, so it is fairly large with it's own spacious bathroom and a walk-in closet. I've always wanted a walk-in closet! Plus, the walls are green, which is my favorite color.

I've thought about planing some weekly or semi-weekly events for the summer, much like the Simpsons Night from a few years ago. Heidi and I also want to organize our own little book club. We'll see how that goes.

Also, I just checked my grades, and am pleasantly surprised to find no C's this semester, and two A's. I got a B- in Physics II just like I hoped for (yeah, I did hope for a B-). My health/motivation/class attendance/whatnot have all pretty much sucked this semester, so, it's a good thing most of my classes were really easy or else who knows what the results may have been. I do have to retake Physics I, since I screwed that class over last semester. I found that the one I was in this semester was actually pretty interesting as we talked about sound waves, electricity/electromagnetism, and optics whereas last semester it was all about calculating applied forces...boring, boring stuff. I actually might read up on optics in my spare time, I've got lots of it for a while :)