"A being darkly wise and rudely great"

It looks as though I might have more back pain to come, as now I will be sitting at a computer for almost a good 40 hr a week. More money, though. Anyway, with all this time to spend with a computer in front of me, I've decided to do some online writing classes. The structure of a syllabus and all will hopefully force me to write regularly. I'm going to do a creative writing class
and a reading and writing short stories one. I actually think that getting into short stories would be a good idea, since the idea of doing a whole novel seems like too much. And if I've feigned to learn anything valuable from What About Bob?, it's baby steps.

Interestingly, while I was browsing some of this open courseware, I stumbled upon something that reminded me of one of my main characters, Hadrian, in the book I want to continue writing. Though, I never seem to get around to that. Pretty pathetic, actually. Anyway, these words are by Alexander Pope. I'm not sure if it is meant to be a poem, but it is a poetic expression of the nature of man, only a part of his larger Essay on Man.

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,

The proper study of mankind is Man.

Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,

A being darkly wise and rudely great:

With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,

With too much weakness for the Stoic's pride,

He hangs between, in doubt to act or rest;

In doubt to deem himself a God or Beast;

In doubt his mind or body to prefer;

Born but to die, and reas'ning but to err;

Alike in ignorance, his reason such,

Whether he thinks too little or too much;

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;

Still by himself abused or disabused;

Created half to rise, and half to fall:

Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;

Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl'd;

The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!

Wow, it really reminds me of how I picture Hadrian. Actually, I haven't included him in that much of what I have written yet, but he has a major role. If you'd like to learn a little about him, he shows up in chapter 1, 2, 8(?), and 10.

I've always want to create complex characters, and so that is my goal with writing The Secret of Aïdoneus. I hope to use a little of what I have learned from the bit of philosophy I have read over the last couple of years. Actually, the first thing I can remember reading that got me thinking philisophically was Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH when I was 12. I remember being really interested in the notion that the rats wanted to move to a destitute place they called Thorn Valley, and away from the comfort of the rose bush. They knew it was wrong to steal from the farmer, and so they decided to sacrifice their life with abudant food and electricity for something much more meager. I thought about it a lot, as well as the idea that the more we learn and are priveledged to discover, the more we are expected to develop a higher sense of morality. Not only that, but that the more we learn, the more we should desire to do so.

I also considered the other side, the opponent Jenner. What sort of a personality would a person develop if he had a lot of knowledge, but didn't desire to be more moral? What kind of fate would he have? Or perhaps, and I doubt I considered this then, what if he really thought that he was, in fact, becoming better, when he actually was becoming more corrupt? That is the real characteristic about the villain that I have come to be fascinated by as I have gotten older. I think it's interesting that these little questions I had as a kid are obviously still significant in my mind. These are the questions I want to wrestle around with, in a more mature manner, with my character Hadrian.

Spiders Hate Pink

I'm so glad that I'm not going to have a job in a cubical when I graduate...no offense Matt. I've just been working a few extra hours the last couple of days and I realized that sitting for over eight hours at a computer is really bad for one's (MY) back. Although, my back's been sore lately, as it is adjusting to my new firm mattress. Whereas, the one I had at Old Farm was basically just made out of that cheap yellow foam (no springs or anything). I actually prefer that thing, especially now.

As part of my b-day present, my sis gave me a massage. But, it didn't help as much as I had hoped. As long as I am mentioning my birthday, I'll try to remember everything I got: a 24-pack case of bottled coke, chocolate cookies, roses, a Jamba Juice, Homestar Runner dvds, a little corny unicorn purse filled with old-timey candy, a massage, House Season 3 dvds, a "speckled hug", lotion, and some money. I also got this weird crow music box thing. And by weird I mean freakin' awesome, of course.

My sister shares a rental contract for her massage studio with her friend Gentry who has a little store upstairs called Frosty Darling. It is so cute! All of the best items are handmade. Check it out: http://www.frostydarling.com/. Anyway, she was nice enough to give me the crow because I got such a kick out of it. She said it was a Bingo prize (which they play on Tuesdays apparently). The store even has a balloon toss like a genuine carnival! And I am a dead-eye shot, shooting. Three of three!!...from probably only three feet away.

On Sunday, my parents and I went to the cemetery in Heber and put some flowers on some of our family's graves. It was surprsing to see that just out of a few graves, two relatives had died on my birthday. Sad. And I hadn't realized before that both my grandpa Duke and his twin brother lost their first wives to the flu only within a day of each other. That's much more sad. And my mom was actually excited to show me the plot that they bought for themselves, which I thought was weird. I don't like thinking about the future, it feels so out of my control.

On Monday, I practically got to see my whole family (and all of my brothers!). It was a surprise, but a happy result of the fact that Scott's family couldn't picnic in the rain. We decided to give his kids Jason's old slide playset, and as we were taking it apart I noticed something moving inside of a shroud of spiderweb. "Ehw, an eggsack." I said. My brother Jason came over and gently poked out what was actually a pretty cool looking spider (not a horrible hord of spider babies), who had just been sheltering himself from the cold.

Jason then explained that spiders liked the playset for some reason. And then I remembered this hilarious Far Side cartoon with two spiders who had woven a web across the bottom of a slide. One of them says to the other, "If we pull this off, we'll eat like kings!" Haha. Anyway, my neice was nearby and was a little concerned that their new playset attracted spiders. "Oh no," Jason reassured, "spiders hate pink!" That seems reasonable for kids, right? After all, everything evil is somehow miraculously repelled by the mere mention of love (I'm thinking of the last Harry Potter film...). So, spiders likewise must be repelled by pink. Emily seemed satisfied.

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my 24th birthday! Originally, I was hoping to go to the concert for The Cure, but no one else really wanted to go, so we went and saw the new Indiana Jones. I suppose I'll give a little review without going into too much detail. So, since seeing it yesterday I've been wondering to myself whether this movie was a good one with some really stupid parts, or a bad one with some redeeming qualities. Right now, I'm leaning on the second choice.

First of all, the movie oddly starts out with the shot of a CGI prairie dog. At first I was wondering if this was actually a part of the movie, or if we were still watching Pixar previews. And if that wasn't enough, more of his CGI friends showed up later.

There were also a lot of very unplausable scenes. That, in itself, is not so bad. I mean, most action/adventure movies have those. But when the scene is something as ridiculous as Indiana surviving an atomic blast, and then rolling out of his lead-protectant fridge to look up at the mushroom cloud whose awesome force he has miraculously elluded...it's going too far. Now, if the scene were actually relevant to the plot, I might lighten up a little bit.

There are a couple other things that were bothersome. Corny lines, mostly. And scenes. Let's just hope that they don't really make Holes boy the new Indiana Jones.

There are, of course, some redeeming qualities (sadly, no Nazis). First of all, Marian's back. She's awesome! Also, the scenes in search of the skull were very true to the rest of the movies, and were very well done. I also thought that Cate Blanchett made a pretty cool villain. She somehow reminded me of the scene in Lord of the Rings where she was relating to Frodo what Galadriel would be like with the one ring. In this case, she covets the one skull to rule them all. But, she's not nearly as cool as these guys:


Don't you think?

Well, a thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday and got me presents. After all these years, I still consider my birthday "my special day," and so I really appreciate it. I still haven't seen my parents yet, so I'll blog about my presents and other aspects of my Memorial Day weekend soon.

And I'm not really bummed about not going to The Cure because there are so many other concerts I want to go to this summer much more. Also, I've been too preoccupied listening to Rush to listen to The Cure like I was planning to before the concert anyway.

Fruitless Pranks...of the Fruit Fly Sort

So, I just realized today that I'm pretty glad that I didn't put anesthetized fruit flies under Andy Anderson's door when I had the chance. I saw him today, and he said, "Good to see you again." It's very possible that he's forgotten my name, but at least I am still recognized.

Anyway, it all goes back to fall semester when my genetics lab partner Aaron and I had a little conversation about "pompous professors." And somehow we started talking about Andy Anderson. Now, I've worked for him for a couple of semesters, and haven't had many problems with him. But, when it came down to the nitty gritty topic at hand, I could not deny the pomp factor. And the last few times I had seen him he didn't even seem to remember me, so, I had a motive (the same as Homer Simpson's to shoot Mr. Burns, actually).

At the time, we were in the middle of anesthetizing our fruit flies and sorting them under the microscope when Aaron brought up the fact that Andy's office was just across the hall. I knew exactly what he was implying, and burst out laughing. You see, I always made an effort to spare the lives of the sleeping flies...and was always dumping them this place and that (outside of course), rather than killing them.

In my laughter, I couldn't stop imagining how hilarious it would be if the next time he walked into his office it was swarming with fruit flies. And all we would have to do to achieve this hilarity is simply slip them under the door. Haha! It was an entertaining thought, but we held out.

Well, now that I know he at least remembers my face, I'm glad we didn't do that prank. I might be seeing him more often too, as the Bio Department might start doing classes through Distance Education (we did an IP conference for them today). I might actually need a recommendation from him someday too, so, I won't feel guilty asking for it now.

Instant Karma

The justice of universal karma extends its mighty grasp even as far as a simple vending machine, I've found today. So, I put a dollar into this vending machine so that I could get some Doritos to snack on at work, and the corner of the bag got stuck, so it wouldn't drop down. That always sucks. So, I was a little irritated (moreso because I was hungry than that I had lost a bit of money). So, I put in another dollar so that I might have two bags. The first dropped down, but the second one also got stuck. "Oh well," I thought, "at least I got one."

After pushing the change button, however (since the chips cost 80 cents, not a dollar) I actually got two dimes and one of those coin dollars. "Hey!" I thought. "How did it know?" The change compensated exactly for my trapped chips. Haha.

I do find it cool that vending machines can tell the difference between American and Canadian quarters, as well as American quarters from before 1965...so, I tend to call them clever. Of course, I realize that the coins are likely weighed (simple enough). So, this "sophistication" begs the question: Did the machine give me an extra dollar in change because it recognized that it did not deliver its product? Or, did the machine have an odd malfunction in issuing its change, that just happened to exactly compensate for my loss? It boggles the mind!!

Rush Concert

Rush is coming to SLC (Usana Amphitheatre) on Monday, August 6th!! Wow, I love finding these things out! If anyone is interested, save the date. It should be an amazing show!

My Big Confession

I've finally acknowledged that it is time for a confession. A big one. The Beatles are officially NOT my favorite band. "What?!" you all cry. "Who is it??" Well, I've decided that choosing a favorite band of all time is not a good idea, as it will make me close-minded to explore the possibilities of loving new bands. And honestly, I really don't listen to The Beatles very much, and haven't for a long time. Although I have acknowledged that fact, I still have always claimed they are my favorite band. No more.

And crazy as I am, I see that Fate would have this be. Haha. I was at the movies a couple weeks ago (Iron Man), and was annoyed as usual by the commercials and continuous cycles of movie pop-quiz questions and such. Honestly, I love a blank screen until the movies start up. And since we pay to get in, I really don't think we should be forced to see commercials by any right. Anyway, one of the questions up on the screen just happened to be: "Who is your favorite band?" The guy next to me read this question aloud and said "Hm, let's see, I think it would have to be...Rush!" As I have been really into this band lately I was very happy by this remark, and turned and replied "I love Rush!" And we started talking about them for a few minutes.

I thought that it was especially cool, since they are not an incredibly popular band (mainstream-wise). Sadly, it seemed like the guy was on a date, so I felt inclined to not chat the boy up too much. Interestingly though, the girl he was with mentioned liking The Beatles, and I felt...a slight hint of disdain for them. Very fleeting, and possibly only because I wanted to talk to him longer and really couldn't because of her. Who knows. I just found it really satisfying that we both really liked a band that wasn't hugely popular, but are hugely talented for sure.

After this little experience, I moved into the Beach House (as I have mentioned), and have just been unpacking the last few days. And guess what got damaged in the move, the only thing? Amazingly enough, all my Beatles albums. No, no, but close. The glass on my Beatles collage was broken. It was sad!

And just yesterday, as I was cleaning out one of my boxes I saw this number written on the side of it:

Okay, now, check out this Rush album cover:

It was a weird sign. But a sign nonetheless. I needed to put the Beatles reign to an end, and acknowledge fully what I am currently obsessed with. Today, it's Rush. And I don't have a favorite band. And The Beatles are not the greatest band in history.

I consider admitting it in this blog a big step to expanding my musical horizons. And just so you know, the other day when someone saw my Yellow Submarine hoodie and said that they loved The Beatles, I withheld my usual "They're my favorite," and just said "Cool, me too." Wow, what a confession.

A View to a Kill

Well, summer is officially here, and I'm actually pretty excited about it. I've moved back to the Beach House, and am near some of my friends again. It's nice to be back.

As far as the job goes, I've actually decided to stick with the same one for the summer, for a few reasons:

1. I hate looking for a job.
2. I hate waiting around to get hired for a job.
3. I hate training for a job.
4. I like having my weekends off, always.

Good enough for me. I do like changes, but not at the expense of too much stress when you are absolutely poor. I am...absolutely poor. Unfortunately, for the first half of the summer I don't have very many hours at all (seriously, only about 25/week). That's what happens when small summer classes end up getting canceled. Bah! Maybe I'll just enjoy it, as I actually have Friday afternoon-Monday completely off. Wow, now that's a weekend!

In other news, the last couple of days I've been at Ali's house watching over her kitty Crash, and her garden, plants, etc. I was really looking forward to a whole week of just bumming around her house while she's in Oregon, but I actually had to come back early due to work starting earlier than expected. While there, I discovered a good reason why she should have someone staying in the house, rather than just having someone come by and check up on things.

So, I awoke Sunday morning to the sound of Crash's jingling bell from his collar as he jumped through the window (he comes in and out as he pleases). I looked up from my sleep to greet him, and he sets down this dead mouse on the floor and starts meowing in a bright and chipper fashion, as though to brag. I was a little horrified by the greeting, but a little amused at the same time by the nature of cats to impress you with their kills.

The next morning, I woke up to the same jingling and looked up to see a dead bird this time. Feathers all over and everything. Definitely gross. But then I thought, maybe this cat likes me if he's trying to impress me with two kills in two days. There is a bright side to everything. And it's a good thing I was there to get those dead animals out of the house.

Here's the culprit:

Anyway, now that I'm back I've got to unload all my stuff into my new room, which is actually really nice because it is usually a shared room, so it is fairly large with it's own spacious bathroom and a walk-in closet. I've always wanted a walk-in closet! Plus, the walls are green, which is my favorite color.

I've thought about planing some weekly or semi-weekly events for the summer, much like the Simpsons Night from a few years ago. Heidi and I also want to organize our own little book club. We'll see how that goes.

Also, I just checked my grades, and am pleasantly surprised to find no C's this semester, and two A's. I got a B- in Physics II just like I hoped for (yeah, I did hope for a B-). My health/motivation/class attendance/whatnot have all pretty much sucked this semester, so, it's a good thing most of my classes were really easy or else who knows what the results may have been. I do have to retake Physics I, since I screwed that class over last semester. I found that the one I was in this semester was actually pretty interesting as we talked about sound waves, electricity/electromagnetism, and optics whereas last semester it was all about calculating applied forces...boring, boring stuff. I actually might read up on optics in my spare time, I've got lots of it for a while :)