"A being darkly wise and rudely great"

It looks as though I might have more back pain to come, as now I will be sitting at a computer for almost a good 40 hr a week. More money, though. Anyway, with all this time to spend with a computer in front of me, I've decided to do some online writing classes. The structure of a syllabus and all will hopefully force me to write regularly. I'm going to do a creative writing class
and a reading and writing short stories one. I actually think that getting into short stories would be a good idea, since the idea of doing a whole novel seems like too much. And if I've feigned to learn anything valuable from What About Bob?, it's baby steps.

Interestingly, while I was browsing some of this open courseware, I stumbled upon something that reminded me of one of my main characters, Hadrian, in the book I want to continue writing. Though, I never seem to get around to that. Pretty pathetic, actually. Anyway, these words are by Alexander Pope. I'm not sure if it is meant to be a poem, but it is a poetic expression of the nature of man, only a part of his larger Essay on Man.

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,

The proper study of mankind is Man.

Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,

A being darkly wise and rudely great:

With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,

With too much weakness for the Stoic's pride,

He hangs between, in doubt to act or rest;

In doubt to deem himself a God or Beast;

In doubt his mind or body to prefer;

Born but to die, and reas'ning but to err;

Alike in ignorance, his reason such,

Whether he thinks too little or too much;

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;

Still by himself abused or disabused;

Created half to rise, and half to fall:

Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;

Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl'd;

The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!

Wow, it really reminds me of how I picture Hadrian. Actually, I haven't included him in that much of what I have written yet, but he has a major role. If you'd like to learn a little about him, he shows up in chapter 1, 2, 8(?), and 10.

I've always want to create complex characters, and so that is my goal with writing The Secret of Aïdoneus. I hope to use a little of what I have learned from the bit of philosophy I have read over the last couple of years. Actually, the first thing I can remember reading that got me thinking philisophically was Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH when I was 12. I remember being really interested in the notion that the rats wanted to move to a destitute place they called Thorn Valley, and away from the comfort of the rose bush. They knew it was wrong to steal from the farmer, and so they decided to sacrifice their life with abudant food and electricity for something much more meager. I thought about it a lot, as well as the idea that the more we learn and are priveledged to discover, the more we are expected to develop a higher sense of morality. Not only that, but that the more we learn, the more we should desire to do so.

I also considered the other side, the opponent Jenner. What sort of a personality would a person develop if he had a lot of knowledge, but didn't desire to be more moral? What kind of fate would he have? Or perhaps, and I doubt I considered this then, what if he really thought that he was, in fact, becoming better, when he actually was becoming more corrupt? That is the real characteristic about the villain that I have come to be fascinated by as I have gotten older. I think it's interesting that these little questions I had as a kid are obviously still significant in my mind. These are the questions I want to wrestle around with, in a more mature manner, with my character Hadrian.