Hope

I'd just like to take a minute and share with everyone that I have a strong testimony of fasting. It really seems to dramatically increase the power of prayer. It also increases our ability to feel and be guided by the Spirit to an astounding degree. Though not one of my most faith-building fasts, I realized that the one I had yesterday was certainly acknowledged by the Lord. I take a minute on the Saturday night before fast Sunday and think who needs a fast, someone I know or me. I decided that I needed one myself, as lately I have that feeling that I suspect creeps in around a person's entry into her seventh year of college. A bit of hopelessness. Regarding mostly everything. I don't like to ever think of myself as being depressed or lacking optimism. I mean, my favorite author and American hero is Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of the most inspiring and optimistic men in history. It boggles my mind that people can honestly feel a way they don't want to feel. Such is reality. Anyway, I fasted for Hope. Unspecific besides, just hope. Today I picked up the new August Ensign that our home teacher had handed me yesterday (I wish I had read the cover then!) and the cover story was, "Single and Steadfast: Lessons in Hope."

Now, of course there are countless people that obviously can benefit from this message, nevertheless, I was overjoyed with thanks for how personal it felt when I read the phrase, "lessons in hope." It was nice to read it and come to grips with the fact that so many people struggle with maintaining hope in one way or another. That is logically obvious, but the real deal is that when you feel that way, you feel alone. One major area of concern for me is the feeling that I am not progressing, and I feel that others around me moving onto careers, marriage, missions, and so on are. I was impressed with a new way to evaluate myself when I read in the article, "Progress is any movement toward peaceful acceptance of whatever the future may hold." I have never heard such a comforting and introspective definition. While suddenly developing a bold and excited view of what is to come (which I thought is what I would need) really seems a bit unrealistic to me at this time, I feel that developing peace inside myself is definitely something I can achieve.