Putting Blender in the Blender

Alright, so back some time ago when I had my 2112 epiphany from my cardboard box, I was reading about Rush on Wikipedia. It all went along well until reaching the bottom where I read that Neil Peart made number two on Blender's list of the "40 Worst Lyricists in Rock". Now, personally, Peart's lyrics are one of my favorite things about Rush. And currently, he is my favorite lyricist in rock. But here, for Blender's list of the worst lyricists, he made number two?! Now, logically, you might wonder whether my opinions hold any weight against a music magazine. And in this case, I would have to say, "You betcha."

First of all, I don't think too much of Blender. I got egged into subscribing for it from those guys that visit all the apartments at Old Farm each semester trying to sell magazines. The first time around, I got rid of them with the honest and golden words "I have no money...at ALL." The second time, I gave in, but only because I said that I'd only get a magazine that suited my interests. Unless they had anything science or music related, I was out. I should have used some stricter criteria.

Anyway, that is how I started reading through Blender, which, as it turned out, was very disappointing. The only thing cool I got out of it was finding out that Ringo Starr and Keith Moon were pretty good friends, and I saw some advertisements for some interesting mp3/satellite radio players. In between were a lot of scandalous advertisements (in the back, at least), and audaciously crappy suggestions of what you "needed" to download. Now, I'll just let you know, anyone like me who likes philosophy really gets unnerved at the words "need", "must" or "should." I obviously haven't read enough of the magazine to make a logical argument against them...so, hopefully you don't have to make the mistake of subscribing to it yourself to believe me.

Anyway, I feel that poor Mr. Peart deserves a bit of support from those of us who don't trust the opinions of those behind Blender. And thus, perhaps as a corny play-on-words, but an accurate visual, I want to put Blender in the Blender. Yes, I personify my own "Blender".

"What exactly did they have to say, anyway?" you ask.

02 • Neil Peart
An ace on the rototoms, a train wreck on the typewriter.

Drummers are good at many things: exploding, drowning in their own vomit, drumming. But the Rush skinsman proved they should never write lyrics—or read books. Peart opuses like “Cygnus X-1” are richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science fiction, steeped in an eighth-grade understanding of Western philosophy. 2112, Rush’s 1976 concept album based on individualist thinker Ayn Rand’s novella Anthem, remains an awe-inspiring low point in the sordid relationship between rock and ideas. Worst lyric: “I stand atop a spiral stair/An oracle confronts me there/He leads me on light years away/Through astral nights, galactic days” (“Oracle: The Dream”)

What is particularly offensive here is that the lyric they chose happens to be one of my favorite parts of the song 2112 (on my playlist, almost 15 min. in). Any times in a Rush song where the music lingers on quietly and then the quietude is broken by Geddy Lee's screams is always cool. Now, the lyrics here, I realize, are not that great. However, they're not that bad, either. Let's consider a couple things. First of all, it's the worst Blender could apparently find of all his lyrics. He's been writing lyrics for about 30 years! Second, the fact that these lyrics are supposedly a prime example of the second worst lyricist in all of rock means that they didn't look very hard. In fact, I have a suspicion that they deliberately were targeting rock figures that have gotten significant praise for being deep or intellectual thinkers. Those Jim Morrison lyrics aren't bad either. In fact, I think they are pretty good. Maybe they're just expecting something amazing from people who like to read. Or perhaps they're just taking cheap shots, like those trippy Donovan lyrics. That's what 60s lyrics were all about... you know ;0. In their defense, though, minus genres such as pop, rap, and country, the field for cheap shots narrows significantly.

Well, I hope I got my Blender humming. Hereafter, I will often mention Peart lyrics, and what I like about them. Stay tuned, one day I'll hit purée.