No Reply

Though my job is usually stress-free, once in a while I get upset by a lack of good communication. Going back to my complaints about the computer age as far as communication goes, I feel ignored. That is, because I don't get responses. You see, we have to fill out these facilitator reports for each class about any problems that we had, etc. In one of my classes, the same problem happens each class period where the distance sites can't see the video from us in Logan, or any other sites besides Vernal and Roosevelt. Can't you imagine how annoying it would be to never be able to see your instructor?

Now, it is especially weird for video to be locked on two sites. When it's just on one, all that needs to be done usually is to adjust the "host" on the connection back to Logan, and restart the system. Anyway, every time this class starts I end up having to call the operations center, and they act like everything is working fine, because as it turns out, they happen to see everything just fine. In the midst of their confusion and me trying to convince them that, "No, we really can't see what you see," it takes about twenty minutes before the problem is miraculously solved. I say miraculously because I'm not sure what they do, and they don't tell me. All I end up figuring out is what I hear being whispered between faint faraway voices at the op. center. Once I heard the word "bridge"...so I included in my report that I believed that the problem was with the bridge. For each report, I describe the problem in detail, and then try to guess what was done to fix it. It's not really my job to explain why something weird happens, so much. I'm more behind the What?'s than the Why?'s in a lot of situations. But, I figure that if it really is so confusing to them, they might want a clue of how to fix it if it happens again.

But my report doesn't ever seem to do anything, because the next day the same problem occurs again and I'm back on the phone trying to convince some other guy that I've tried all the stuff he is recommending and suggesting, and that none of those things will work. If someone just remembered what they did to help, or made a report of their own, this wouldn't be a problem. And a waste of time. And a frustration. It's a bit like the movie Groundhog Day, but even worse because it isn't really the same day repeating itself over and over again. No, it just feels like it. Even if the problem could not be permenantly fixed, I think that I deserved a reply email to that effect. But, no reply. However, this class just ended today, so I don't have to deal with that nonsense anymore. Although, at least I finally found out what the culprit was, sorta. The guy I talked to today vaguely remembered hearing about our problem a while ago, and told me that two bridges were involved in the connection, rather than one. He didn't know what to do about that, though.

On top of this, yesterday I proctored a test out in the hallway. Somehow, other departments seem to be unaware of the schedule for Distance Ed., or that we are in their buildings doing classes, or that we even exist. First of all, I've seen a few occasions myself when a group has booked the same room at the same time we are doing a distance class, and they say that those who they made arrangements with claimed that the room was free. This is what happened yesterday. Not only could we not use the room (which for a distance ed. class requiring the cameras, mics, ect., a specific room is important), but it was a test day and the tests hadn't been delivered to the room as usual. "Great, my own manager forgot about me," I thought. And flustered and blushing I told the students that I would go to the computer lab and print out their tests, and that we would move to another room. For some reason, they wanted to take their tests in the hallway instead. It was kinda funny. We were all in a circle. After the people in our room left (after an hour!), I stole a coke out of the cooler they left in there. Ha! Luckily, the students didn't miss any of the lecture following the test, because the room was cleared by then. And it was a final exam review, so, I would have had an angry mob on my hands if they missed it. So, the double-booking of the rooms is just the one thing.

Another reason why I'm pretty sure no one knows about our class schedules is that last summer they started closing the library at five after the on-campus classes were over. Realizing that Distance Ed. still had classes going in the library well after five, I asked one of their employees about it. She said, "Classes are over."

"No," I corrected. "Distance Ed. classes are still going."

Once again, an oblivious reaction. Unfortunately, upon discovery of this fact, we evidently didn't have enough power in our department to warrant the library being open a few more hours. Incidently, the air conditioning wasn't going for a couple weeks either. So, it sure did suck when I had a class that started at eight, and I had to get there at five so I wouldn't be locked out (and to let everyone else in, of course). Seriously, I spent hours alone in the hot library because of it. That was kinda fun, though. I set up a scavenger hunt with cute little poetic riddles. And at the end was the book The Quest for Utopia, which in turn directed you to a pile of quarters. Ooh, it was a treasure hunt too, I guess.

Anyway, this is likely the only blog entry that I will write about work. For this job, at least. I was just a little irritated, so that's why I wrote it. I know it doesn't entertain much. I guess that getting ignored has always been a hot-button issue with me, from work to home, to friends, and of course, the government.

Actually, I'm so tired right now partly due to this issue. Not only am I tired from working a 12 day (still in the process), but I also walked a few miles this afternoon in the hot sun. The kicker was why I had to walk in the sun so much. I was waiting at a bus stop for twenty minutes and when the bus came the driver didn't see me, and passed by! It was so stupid, but it made me...sad. Ignored again. But, I did stop by a lemonade stand that I saw on my way home to get a drink...and I've been thinking just recently about how I'd like to pass by one of those. Huh.

"O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody, or nothing worth!"

Speaking of witches, I've been thinking about Macbeth lately. Though, what first got me thinking about Macbeth again was a documentary I rented called The Hobart Shakespeareans. It was really good. I recommend it especially to those going into teaching. It's about an inner city elementary school teacher in L.A. who directs a performance of a Shakespeare play by his class each year. That particular year, they happened to be doing Hamlet. It was so impressive that these 10-year-olds, who incidently were all second language speakers, were understanding and acting out what is generally considered Shakespeare's greatest play. The documentary even featured the appearance of Ian McKellen, who comes to see them perform each year. I really like Ian McKellen.

So, with Hamlet in mind, I decided to read my favorite scene from the movie I watched with, well, I don't know his name. Remember Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? He's a good actor. Anyway, in this scene Hamlet has just come across Fortinbras' army, who are marching to claim some pretty useless land that has "no profit but the name." It is such a huge and shameful contrast when Hamlet compares himself with this army. Thousands of men are risking their lives for something so insignificant, as he compares it to an "egg-shell", and he is not willing to act on the great injustice that has been done to him. And I love his conclusion, "O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloodly, or nothing worth!" Yeah, blood! Anyway, here's his speech:

How all occasions do inform against me,
And spur my dull revenge! What is a man,
If his chief good and market of his time
Be but to sleep and feed? a beast, no more.
Sure, he that made us with such large discourse,
Looking before and after, gave us not
That capability and god-like reason
To fust in us unused. Now, whether it be
Bestial oblivion, or some craven scruple
Of thinking too precisely on the event,
A thought which, quarter'd, hath but one part wisdom
And ever three parts coward, I do not know
Why yet I live to say 'This thing's to do;'
Sith I have cause and will and strength and means
To do't. Examples gross as earth exhort me:
Witness this army of such mass and charge
Led by a delicate and tender prince,
Whose spirit with divine ambition puff'd
Makes mouths at the invisible event,
Exposing what is mortal and unsure
To all that fortune, death and danger dare,
Even for an egg-shell. Rightly to be great
Is not to stir without great argument,
But greatly to find quarrel in a straw
When honour's at the stake.
How stand I then,
That have a father kill'd, a mother stain'd,
Excitements of my reason and my blood,
And let all sleep? while, to my shame, I see
The imminent death of twenty thousand men,
That, for a fantasy and trick of fame,
Go to their graves like beds, fight for a plot
Whereon the numbers cannot try the cause,
Which is not tomb enough and continent
To hide the slain? O, from this time forth,
My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!

After reading this, I thought how interesting it was that at times the character Hamlet seems to be the opposite of Macbeth. While Hamlet has the flaw of inaction, Macbeth has the flaw of "vaulting ambition." Hamlet lacks courage, and Macbeth has gone too far with his courage...beyond virtuous proportions. Yet, they both decide to kill a man in order to gain or keep their courage. It's the same choice, but under the circumstances we see it as a good one for Hamlet, and a bad one for Macbeth. Hamlet makes this choice close to the end, and Macbeth does so close to the beginning. It's also interesting that one play accounts for the forethought to the decision, and another the aftermath of it. I'd be interested to read any essays on the comparisons and contrasts between these characters, now. Hmmm...maybe I should do a search.

In the interest of a quick visual, I did a little Google Image search. Here's a little look at some contrasts. This picture of Hamlet is from Act I, and the one of Macbeth is from Act II. See how different they look?

Hamlet

"O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody, or nothing worth!"

Macbeth

"I am in blood stepp'd in so far that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er."

Now, compare those quotes, which occur near the end of the plays, to the pictures from the beginning. Wow, they certainly have changed! Hamlet wants to stop hesitating and start cracking skulls, and Macbeth is so accustomed to violence that he is now referring to murder as "tedious." It almost seems that the quotes should go with the opposite pictures, if you didn't know better. I just thought that was pretty cool. Incidently, haha, that sketch of Hamlet was made for Ian McKellen. See the writing, "To Dear Ian"?

Since I personally prefer the story of Macbeth (perhaps more due to my ignorance of Hamlet than any particular claims of superiority), I have been looking it over much more than that soliloquy of Hamlet. I actually have some lectures on Macbeth (along with other Shakespeare plays), that I have been looking at lately. The Teaching Company is really awesome. They have a sale that ends tomorrow actually...maybe I'll give in and get something. Anyway, since it's on my mind, I might share some of what I've learned/observed about Macbeth. I mean, I will. Count on it.

I just realized how different my blog is than most. It's an outlet for my thoughts more than a form of "communication" (bizarrely, crappy computer age) while I'm practically isolated all day. I bore myself when writing about what "my day" consists of. Blah! I mean, my life is really, really exciting...and pregnant with possibilities!! Now I'm just quoting the results of a personality test I once took. It actually used the phrase "pregnant with possibilities" in regards to my life. So, maybe I'm being particularly ironic in my sarcasm.

Note: I like the computer age very much, despite my complaints.

Witch Hunt

Note: You probably ought to read "Putting Blender in the Blender" first.

Let's begin with a song that came from what many Rush fans (not myself) believe to be the height of their career, the album Moving Pictures. Witch Hunt is a dark metaphoric narrative which relates a self-righteous madstricken mob burning their victims to the issue of censorship. How apt! After all, that is precisely how many groups of people have taken censorship into their own hands. Burning. And it was a common practice throughout history, and often the reasons can be pinned on religious censorship. Among the not too-far-distant incidences that come to my mind are the Nazi book burnings and the group back in the 60s who burned Beatles albums and propaganda after John Lennon made the comment about The Beatles being "bigger than Jesus." Also, my mind reflects on the novel Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, where the firemen in the future are not responsible for putting fires out, but for starting them. Burning is certainly the most blatant and destructive means of censorship, when only ashes remain.

I became a fan of that book about ten years ago, as well as 1984 in high school, and am still attracted to dystopian themes involving censorship today. What's particularly powerful about the lyrics of this song, I find, is that it isn't a far-fetched, dramatic dystopian. Witch hunts really happened. It's history, people. Much more dramatic, when you think about it. But no, Peart is no Bradbury or Orwell. But he picked a killer way of getting his point across:

The night is black

Without a moon

The air is thick and still

The vigilantes gather on

The lonely torch lit hill

Features distorted in the flickering light

The faces are twisted and grotesque

Silent and stern in the sweltering night

The mob moves like demons possessed

Quiet in conscience, calm in their right

Confident their ways are best
The righteous rise
With burning eyes
Of hatred and ill-will
Madmen fed on fear and lies
To beat and burn and kill
They say there are strangers who threaten us
In our immigrants and infidels
They say there is strangeness too dangerous
In our theaters and bookstore shelves
That those that know what's best for us
Must rise and save us from ourselves
Quick to judge
Quick to anger
Slow to understand
Ignorance and prejudice
And fear walk hand in hand...

I won't pretend I remember most of the literary terms and technical jargon I learned in high school. I remember some basics though. I just have to point out that there is a heck of a lot of alliteration, and I notice that Peart uses it all the time. I've always been a fan of it. So, be warned that I am likely to always point it out. And though all of the rhymes are simple enough, I think that "ill-will" with "kill" is simply brilliant. I've also noticed a couple of Rush songs where the lyrics can be written at least two ways and come off sounding the same. Here we have "strangers who threaten us" and "strangeness too dangerous." Or, when you hear it in the song, it also sounds like, "strangeness to danger us." But 'danger' is not conventionally, or ever, used as a verb. Is it? I guess that's what the word 'endanger' is for. Blast, that's not as interesting anymore.

And, of course, the song has my favorite punctuation mark: the ellipsis (...). No, I didn't completely remember that name either. I had to look up how to spell it. Personally, though, I overuse my dot, dot, dots. Anyway, here at the end of the song the ellipsis makes it seem like ignorance and prejudice are ongoing qualities. To me, it indicates that Peart has no solution. I'd like to think that if we are looking to find one, it's up to us individually. Really, I think it's taking the notion that "those that know what's best for us must rise and save us from ourselves" and flipping it into singular introspection. I'm thinking of that scripture about motes, you know, that concept.

Actually, this song also reminded me of a scene in...Footloose. That ellipsis indicates slight embarassment. Or, should I do what Strong Bad does? Actually, this song also reminded me of a scene in Footlose. Nah, it's a good movie. Anyway, I'm thinking of the part where the town is burning library books and the town preacher approaches them, rebuking them that there is no evil in the books, but in their hearts. He then tells them to go home, and rather sit in judgement on themselves. It was an interesting scene because it is meant to come as a surprise. We suspect that because he does not support dancing in public because it can foster corruption, that he would therefore approve of all the censorship going on. He's really a pretty good guy after all.

Back to the song, now, and winding down. What I always find interesting are the situations where the "good guys" are also, or actually the "bad guys", or vica versa, and where fear acts as the impetus to instill fear. And so I say, a job well done, Neil.

Putting Blender in the Blender

Alright, so back some time ago when I had my 2112 epiphany from my cardboard box, I was reading about Rush on Wikipedia. It all went along well until reaching the bottom where I read that Neil Peart made number two on Blender's list of the "40 Worst Lyricists in Rock". Now, personally, Peart's lyrics are one of my favorite things about Rush. And currently, he is my favorite lyricist in rock. But here, for Blender's list of the worst lyricists, he made number two?! Now, logically, you might wonder whether my opinions hold any weight against a music magazine. And in this case, I would have to say, "You betcha."

First of all, I don't think too much of Blender. I got egged into subscribing for it from those guys that visit all the apartments at Old Farm each semester trying to sell magazines. The first time around, I got rid of them with the honest and golden words "I have no money...at ALL." The second time, I gave in, but only because I said that I'd only get a magazine that suited my interests. Unless they had anything science or music related, I was out. I should have used some stricter criteria.

Anyway, that is how I started reading through Blender, which, as it turned out, was very disappointing. The only thing cool I got out of it was finding out that Ringo Starr and Keith Moon were pretty good friends, and I saw some advertisements for some interesting mp3/satellite radio players. In between were a lot of scandalous advertisements (in the back, at least), and audaciously crappy suggestions of what you "needed" to download. Now, I'll just let you know, anyone like me who likes philosophy really gets unnerved at the words "need", "must" or "should." I obviously haven't read enough of the magazine to make a logical argument against them...so, hopefully you don't have to make the mistake of subscribing to it yourself to believe me.

Anyway, I feel that poor Mr. Peart deserves a bit of support from those of us who don't trust the opinions of those behind Blender. And thus, perhaps as a corny play-on-words, but an accurate visual, I want to put Blender in the Blender. Yes, I personify my own "Blender".

"What exactly did they have to say, anyway?" you ask.

02 • Neil Peart
An ace on the rototoms, a train wreck on the typewriter.

Drummers are good at many things: exploding, drowning in their own vomit, drumming. But the Rush skinsman proved they should never write lyrics—or read books. Peart opuses like “Cygnus X-1” are richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science fiction, steeped in an eighth-grade understanding of Western philosophy. 2112, Rush’s 1976 concept album based on individualist thinker Ayn Rand’s novella Anthem, remains an awe-inspiring low point in the sordid relationship between rock and ideas. Worst lyric: “I stand atop a spiral stair/An oracle confronts me there/He leads me on light years away/Through astral nights, galactic days” (“Oracle: The Dream”)

What is particularly offensive here is that the lyric they chose happens to be one of my favorite parts of the song 2112 (on my playlist, almost 15 min. in). Any times in a Rush song where the music lingers on quietly and then the quietude is broken by Geddy Lee's screams is always cool. Now, the lyrics here, I realize, are not that great. However, they're not that bad, either. Let's consider a couple things. First of all, it's the worst Blender could apparently find of all his lyrics. He's been writing lyrics for about 30 years! Second, the fact that these lyrics are supposedly a prime example of the second worst lyricist in all of rock means that they didn't look very hard. In fact, I have a suspicion that they deliberately were targeting rock figures that have gotten significant praise for being deep or intellectual thinkers. Those Jim Morrison lyrics aren't bad either. In fact, I think they are pretty good. Maybe they're just expecting something amazing from people who like to read. Or perhaps they're just taking cheap shots, like those trippy Donovan lyrics. That's what 60s lyrics were all about... you know ;0. In their defense, though, minus genres such as pop, rap, and country, the field for cheap shots narrows significantly.

Well, I hope I got my Blender humming. Hereafter, I will often mention Peart lyrics, and what I like about them. Stay tuned, one day I'll hit purée.

Dejected, but Feeling Famous Too

After pawing through several adjectives yesterday, the best one was DEJECTED. Rush is not coming to Utah anymore! They are cutting their tour short in July. I was all excited about them coming, and told my friend Luke about it. He was excited too, which was awesome because I didn't think very many people even knew who they were...let alone would be excited to see them. Anyway, after checking their website, he let me know that no such stop to Salt Lake is on their current tour list. It ruined my day! There's still Styx and Journey, that would be fun...but they're not as cool as Rush.

On the bright side, band wise, I got a text message from Jimmy Eat World yesterday! Seriously. And one at 3:30 in the morning too. Haha, good thing it was on vibrate and they didn't wake me up with "kicking it in osnabruck." Where is that? Anyway, the deal with that is that I signed up for the service Twitter, which is like a "microblog" that can be sent to "followers" via text messaging (if you so choose). Now, I really don't see the point as far as friends and family goes. Just text them...morons. However, getting texts from Jimmy Eat World is really fun, it makes me feel famous too. It's a cool concept that-a-wise.