Dejected, but Feeling Famous Too

After pawing through several adjectives yesterday, the best one was DEJECTED. Rush is not coming to Utah anymore! They are cutting their tour short in July. I was all excited about them coming, and told my friend Luke about it. He was excited too, which was awesome because I didn't think very many people even knew who they were...let alone would be excited to see them. Anyway, after checking their website, he let me know that no such stop to Salt Lake is on their current tour list. It ruined my day! There's still Styx and Journey, that would be fun...but they're not as cool as Rush.

On the bright side, band wise, I got a text message from Jimmy Eat World yesterday! Seriously. And one at 3:30 in the morning too. Haha, good thing it was on vibrate and they didn't wake me up with "kicking it in osnabruck." Where is that? Anyway, the deal with that is that I signed up for the service Twitter, which is like a "microblog" that can be sent to "followers" via text messaging (if you so choose). Now, I really don't see the point as far as friends and family goes. Just text them...morons. However, getting texts from Jimmy Eat World is really fun, it makes me feel famous too. It's a cool concept that-a-wise.

"So light, yet endless"

It's been raining the last few days, and it's absolutely beautiful outside. Not all rainy days are beautiful. I think that only a light summer rain really appeals to me, visually. Specifically, the contrast of the gray sky and the rich vibrant green of the grass and trees can only be seen during a summer rain, in Logan. In other seasons, the rain seems to drown out all color. And in a summer rain, you can go out without a jacket, and still be comfortable. In fact, I believe that the second you put a hood over your head...the rain begins to become a nuisance. Or, perhaps it is the other way around.

The Quad was particularly breathtaking. Lately, I've been pretty cynical about all businesses, and I often can't help looking for something wrong with this University (the business where all my money is going). But today, I only was pleased that USU has such a wonderful location that overlooks the valley and the temple on one end, and is so close to the mountains on the other. I love to see the moisture cloud around the mountains after it rains.



It all reminds me of the special feeling I got on this campus when I toured it back in high school. It felt like the right place to be.

It just felt so amazing today walking around outside. I don't know what was different, so I just picked the rain. That's not it, though. I'm just really happy without a reason for it. It reminds me of the title of C.S. Lewis's autobiography, "Surprised by Joy." That title has always fascinated me ever since I heard it.

While walking, I kept thinking of my favorite part of the Rush song, The Camera Eye, that says:

They seem oblivious

To a soft spring rain,

Like an English rain.

So light, yet endless

From a leaden sky.

(This song is now in my playlist)

As the lyrics were repeating in my head, I kept having the thought that today I was not oblivious...to a happiness that is "so light, yet endless."

"A being darkly wise and rudely great"

It looks as though I might have more back pain to come, as now I will be sitting at a computer for almost a good 40 hr a week. More money, though. Anyway, with all this time to spend with a computer in front of me, I've decided to do some online writing classes. The structure of a syllabus and all will hopefully force me to write regularly. I'm going to do a creative writing class
and a reading and writing short stories one. I actually think that getting into short stories would be a good idea, since the idea of doing a whole novel seems like too much. And if I've feigned to learn anything valuable from What About Bob?, it's baby steps.

Interestingly, while I was browsing some of this open courseware, I stumbled upon something that reminded me of one of my main characters, Hadrian, in the book I want to continue writing. Though, I never seem to get around to that. Pretty pathetic, actually. Anyway, these words are by Alexander Pope. I'm not sure if it is meant to be a poem, but it is a poetic expression of the nature of man, only a part of his larger Essay on Man.

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,

The proper study of mankind is Man.

Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,

A being darkly wise and rudely great:

With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,

With too much weakness for the Stoic's pride,

He hangs between, in doubt to act or rest;

In doubt to deem himself a God or Beast;

In doubt his mind or body to prefer;

Born but to die, and reas'ning but to err;

Alike in ignorance, his reason such,

Whether he thinks too little or too much;

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;

Still by himself abused or disabused;

Created half to rise, and half to fall:

Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;

Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl'd;

The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!

Wow, it really reminds me of how I picture Hadrian. Actually, I haven't included him in that much of what I have written yet, but he has a major role. If you'd like to learn a little about him, he shows up in chapter 1, 2, 8(?), and 10.

I've always want to create complex characters, and so that is my goal with writing The Secret of Aïdoneus. I hope to use a little of what I have learned from the bit of philosophy I have read over the last couple of years. Actually, the first thing I can remember reading that got me thinking philisophically was Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH when I was 12. I remember being really interested in the notion that the rats wanted to move to a destitute place they called Thorn Valley, and away from the comfort of the rose bush. They knew it was wrong to steal from the farmer, and so they decided to sacrifice their life with abudant food and electricity for something much more meager. I thought about it a lot, as well as the idea that the more we learn and are priveledged to discover, the more we are expected to develop a higher sense of morality. Not only that, but that the more we learn, the more we should desire to do so.

I also considered the other side, the opponent Jenner. What sort of a personality would a person develop if he had a lot of knowledge, but didn't desire to be more moral? What kind of fate would he have? Or perhaps, and I doubt I considered this then, what if he really thought that he was, in fact, becoming better, when he actually was becoming more corrupt? That is the real characteristic about the villain that I have come to be fascinated by as I have gotten older. I think it's interesting that these little questions I had as a kid are obviously still significant in my mind. These are the questions I want to wrestle around with, in a more mature manner, with my character Hadrian.

Spiders Hate Pink

I'm so glad that I'm not going to have a job in a cubical when I graduate...no offense Matt. I've just been working a few extra hours the last couple of days and I realized that sitting for over eight hours at a computer is really bad for one's (MY) back. Although, my back's been sore lately, as it is adjusting to my new firm mattress. Whereas, the one I had at Old Farm was basically just made out of that cheap yellow foam (no springs or anything). I actually prefer that thing, especially now.

As part of my b-day present, my sis gave me a massage. But, it didn't help as much as I had hoped. As long as I am mentioning my birthday, I'll try to remember everything I got: a 24-pack case of bottled coke, chocolate cookies, roses, a Jamba Juice, Homestar Runner dvds, a little corny unicorn purse filled with old-timey candy, a massage, House Season 3 dvds, a "speckled hug", lotion, and some money. I also got this weird crow music box thing. And by weird I mean freakin' awesome, of course.

My sister shares a rental contract for her massage studio with her friend Gentry who has a little store upstairs called Frosty Darling. It is so cute! All of the best items are handmade. Check it out: http://www.frostydarling.com/. Anyway, she was nice enough to give me the crow because I got such a kick out of it. She said it was a Bingo prize (which they play on Tuesdays apparently). The store even has a balloon toss like a genuine carnival! And I am a dead-eye shot, shooting. Three of three!!...from probably only three feet away.

On Sunday, my parents and I went to the cemetery in Heber and put some flowers on some of our family's graves. It was surprsing to see that just out of a few graves, two relatives had died on my birthday. Sad. And I hadn't realized before that both my grandpa Duke and his twin brother lost their first wives to the flu only within a day of each other. That's much more sad. And my mom was actually excited to show me the plot that they bought for themselves, which I thought was weird. I don't like thinking about the future, it feels so out of my control.

On Monday, I practically got to see my whole family (and all of my brothers!). It was a surprise, but a happy result of the fact that Scott's family couldn't picnic in the rain. We decided to give his kids Jason's old slide playset, and as we were taking it apart I noticed something moving inside of a shroud of spiderweb. "Ehw, an eggsack." I said. My brother Jason came over and gently poked out what was actually a pretty cool looking spider (not a horrible hord of spider babies), who had just been sheltering himself from the cold.

Jason then explained that spiders liked the playset for some reason. And then I remembered this hilarious Far Side cartoon with two spiders who had woven a web across the bottom of a slide. One of them says to the other, "If we pull this off, we'll eat like kings!" Haha. Anyway, my neice was nearby and was a little concerned that their new playset attracted spiders. "Oh no," Jason reassured, "spiders hate pink!" That seems reasonable for kids, right? After all, everything evil is somehow miraculously repelled by the mere mention of love (I'm thinking of the last Harry Potter film...). So, spiders likewise must be repelled by pink. Emily seemed satisfied.

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my 24th birthday! Originally, I was hoping to go to the concert for The Cure, but no one else really wanted to go, so we went and saw the new Indiana Jones. I suppose I'll give a little review without going into too much detail. So, since seeing it yesterday I've been wondering to myself whether this movie was a good one with some really stupid parts, or a bad one with some redeeming qualities. Right now, I'm leaning on the second choice.

First of all, the movie oddly starts out with the shot of a CGI prairie dog. At first I was wondering if this was actually a part of the movie, or if we were still watching Pixar previews. And if that wasn't enough, more of his CGI friends showed up later.

There were also a lot of very unplausable scenes. That, in itself, is not so bad. I mean, most action/adventure movies have those. But when the scene is something as ridiculous as Indiana surviving an atomic blast, and then rolling out of his lead-protectant fridge to look up at the mushroom cloud whose awesome force he has miraculously elluded...it's going too far. Now, if the scene were actually relevant to the plot, I might lighten up a little bit.

There are a couple other things that were bothersome. Corny lines, mostly. And scenes. Let's just hope that they don't really make Holes boy the new Indiana Jones.

There are, of course, some redeeming qualities (sadly, no Nazis). First of all, Marian's back. She's awesome! Also, the scenes in search of the skull were very true to the rest of the movies, and were very well done. I also thought that Cate Blanchett made a pretty cool villain. She somehow reminded me of the scene in Lord of the Rings where she was relating to Frodo what Galadriel would be like with the one ring. In this case, she covets the one skull to rule them all. But, she's not nearly as cool as these guys:


Don't you think?

Well, a thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday and got me presents. After all these years, I still consider my birthday "my special day," and so I really appreciate it. I still haven't seen my parents yet, so I'll blog about my presents and other aspects of my Memorial Day weekend soon.

And I'm not really bummed about not going to The Cure because there are so many other concerts I want to go to this summer much more. Also, I've been too preoccupied listening to Rush to listen to The Cure like I was planning to before the concert anyway.