Run for Fun?

I warn all who know me very well, you will be shocked by this post. But don’t worry, I think you will recognize that I am still in my “right mind” as it all unfolds. Firstly, it seems as though I love fast food a little too much lately. I’m not one to usually care much about how unhealthy that is, or to mention anything about “watching my weight.” But I have definitely gained some weight lately, and I don’t like the fact. So, I’ve thought a lot more about…exercising. What?? Yes, you all know I generally hate that idea. I am the kind of person who has always loathed running, even as a kid.

Back in school, the mile run was essentially torture, but most asthmatic weaklings would agree. I remember that I skipped gym class during a mile run at least once in high school. Heck, I even lied to my teacher in elementary school about having an orthodontist appointment to get out of playing kick ball. Kick ball! Pretty pathetic, but I hate being forced to run or play sports when I don’t want to. And wanting to was…pretty rare. Still is, and today is officially a rarity.

Coincidently, my brother is also feeling the need to start exercising. Though, clearly, something needs to be done when you no longer have the energy to hop a low fence to retrieve a frisbee.

Though, the giant chopstick-like contraption is an interesting alternative. It’s certainly more fun than going around the fence. I can’t hop that fence successfully either, it’s true.

As luck would have it, Matt decided to get a treadmill for the extra bedroom.

Great, I don’t have to go to the gym. This has several advantages. You see, it has always been the case that when I want to do something that I find fairly distasteful, I require a novelty. So, I’ve thought about some things I can do that will psych me up while I run the treadmill to make the experience less torturous.

First of all, no run is complete without some great music to pump you up. In this case, I might choose Virgin Steele’s Invictus. Truly epic stuff.

If that doesn’t work I can always move onto reading "The Daring Girls Guide to Danger."

Number eight on the list actually suggests dying your hair purple! I haven’t tried that yet, but I did co-author a song called “Purple-haired Freedom” at one time.

If reading about how to be more dangerous doesn’t psych me up for a good run, I can always conjure some aggression by playing some Street Fighter II.

Such a classic!

Yes, the controller will reach. It’s a great idea! But I guess it could potentially be a little too dangerous to run on a treadmill and play Nintendo at the same time. Well, there’s always magnet poetry. Can’t get any safer than that.

Though, it might be pretty hard to place the words into properly aligned sentences like that. Drat.

I’ve got it! I know an activity that can be both safe and thrilling. I could set up some kind of virtual fantasy world where I am the super hero, and am running intently to capture some bad guys. Seriously, it’s not too high tech. of an operation. I’ve got all I would need already. The zany super hero glasses:

and the world (3D dvd) of choice.

Now, I can totally see myself doing that! Once all these novelties wear off, though, I could potentially be screwed. Let’s hope for the present that I can effectively brainwash myself into disregarding the truth behind these words from Back to the Future III, which have become like a motto to me, “Run for fun? What the **** kind of fun is that?”