In All Honesty, I'm a Moron, So Give Me Your Scholarship

This Wednesday I’ve agreed to participate in a student panel discussing what teacher has influenced me the most and why, things that have enabled me to learn the most deeply, and things that have hindered my learning in school. I also just received an email asking me to write a short biography of myself, including the answers to a few key questions, which will serve as my introduction to the audience.

One of these questions asked me to rank myself as a student (academically) as above average, average, or below average. I laughed inside myself, wondering if I should put “below average.” Every panel needs a below average student, and I can’t deny that I essentially do have a “C’s get degrees” mentality. And I am a slacker. But I’d never consistently describe myself this way, so, I answered “average”…and then had an interesting memory come to mind.

I remembered this scholarship essay I wrote in high school, that I titled “The Average among the Elite.” I think I had it in my head back then that honesty was one of the most impressive qualities a student could have, perhaps even more so than…academic success. Yeah, so, it is with great shame and much amusement that I present to you my essay for the ACCESS Scholarship for Women:

“Recently in my biology class, I had the opportunity to crossbreed fruit flies. Seeing as I was the only one to volunteer, I went to work by myself to anesthetize the flies before they reached sexual maturity and sort them according to sex and type. However, to my dismay, I used a tad too much “Fly Nap,” and accidently killed the flies instead. Oh darn, failure isn’t all that fun. Of course, I did learn from my little mishap and made sure not to make the same mistake again in the second attempt. Although, the next attempt was not successful either because many of the flies drowned in the banana mush I prepared as a food source, which I guess was a bit on the watery side. I’m certain that if a third attempt were in fact called for, little if nothing would go wrong.

You see, I have not always been the most qualified for a given task. Maybe someone else could have performed the fruit fly experiment with success the first time. But I was the only one that volunteered, and thus the only one who learned anything at all, in this regard. In pure honestly, my GPA and ACT score hardly qualifies me for this scholarship. Perhaps it is my willingness to learn from ignorance and to enroll in advanced courses despite my average profile that qualifies me to even seek such an opportunity of being awarded this scholarship. I am willing to try, to fail, and to learn next time how to do better. That is the best way to learn.

My interest in science classes has often puzzled people. As a sophomore my favorite class was chemistry, which I recall many people, including my parents, claimed they never really cared for and even hated. But I always found it easy to look beyond the equations and theories because of my interests in the applications chemistry had in how things functioned and how they influenced the world. I went into AP Chemistry as a junior with full knowledge that I wasn’t exactly above average, but I didn’t want to be deprived of higher learning just because I didn’t stand out as a “science whiz.” Along with some of the other students in my AP Chemistry class, I enrolled in a lab course at the University of Utah. Yes, I found the class a little difficult, but I managed to get a B in the end, which I thought was pretty good considering that Professor Ragsdale grades on the bell curve and that I was amongst such bright kids.

I was the only girl in my AP Chemistry class who didn’t drop out, and the first girl ever from Wasatch to complete the lab course at the U of U. Perhaps that is one reason why this scholarship interested me. I love science and have tried my best to pursue it despite the intimidation of being the only girl at times, and having a lower GPA and ACT score than other AP students. I even look back now and can’t believe that I sacrificed my Friday nights to stay up and do my equations rather than go out with friends and see a movie. Although, in the end I came out with the same grade as the rest of my classmates from Wasatch, I truly think that perhaps my efforts to achieve an average among the elite students has given me my own distinctive and unassuming way of standing out.

Throughout my years at Wasatch I have taken an interest in the basic and essential sciences such as biology and chemistry, and have come to especially enjoy physiology where both of them come into play. I hope to learn more about many areas of science and wish to be able to be given the opportunity to acquire this knowledge and grow from the challenges of doing so.”

Wow. I’m pretty sure that this essay got crumbled up and thrown in the trash after someone read, “In pure honestly, my GPA and ACT score hardly qualifies me for this scholarship.” Then again, maybe this person had a sense of humor, and read the whole thing before disposing of it. With that in mind, I wonder what happened when the panel judging the Sterling Scholar applications opened my friend Kendall's portfolio full of I.O.U.'s...

At least I can say that I now HAVE successfully completed an experiment with fruit flies (in my genetics lab a little over a year ago). In fact, I think that my partner and I were the most successful students in the class with that experiment. And I got an A in the course. So, I ended up all right. Perhaps that would not have been the case without those crazy days of drowning flies in banana mush and writing lousy scholarship essays about the value of determination. I dunno. But I think I’ll avoid discussing my fruit fly breeding experiences with the panel on Wednesday, at least.